These words are from the song, "Where is the Love", by the Black Eyed Peas. Very fitting indeed...
A lot is going on in our world right now. We are becoming more and more divided, and less and less tolerant of one another. And people are dying at the hands of those who should be protecting them. Nations are turning against nations, and friends and family members are at odds about the “right way” to handle things. And social media and traditional media is whipping us up into a frenzy. It’s nuts. And it doesn’t have to be.
I am one of those people that can sometimes annoy others with my optimism. I find a way to look on the bright side or lend an encouraging word. But to be honest, I am struggling right now. And while I’m trying to stay informed, I am avoiding those talking head shows like the plague – because the producers inevitably pit people with vastly opposing views against one another and they slug it out with words – analyzing and replaying what has happened when the truth is – we have to move FORWARD from here.
Today I’m going to contrast two emotions: Fear vs. Love.
Fear breeds mistrust and distances people. I see you as my enemy instead of my potential ally. I am in a “fight or flight” posture, and when things get heated, I will fight (or shoot) first and ask questions later. Every man (or woman) for him/herself. This is a lonely, disempowered and diminished existence.
Love promotes openness and understanding. I see you first and foremost as another human being. I trust you first, and assume the best. And when we disagree, I work with you to find a place of mutual understanding so that we can move forward. This is a much more empowered stance, and tends to help people to move forward and seek unity.
Here’s the thing: We will NEED TO WORK TOGETHER to get to the other side of this. And we will need to learn how to see the commonalities in one another instead of the difference. As Steven Covey states, “seek first to understand, then to be understood”. United we stand, divided we fall… all that good stuff. The problems of our nation and our world are so huge that it can be difficult to imagine workable solutions. But look to South Africa where apartheid was the norm until a different way was imagined, and until the collective will of the people set things in motion to create lasting change in that country. Look to Germany, where world leaders got to the point of tearing down a wall that divided the country for many years. Real change can happen, but we must be open to it. We must first put our fears aside and open ourselves up to love.
10 DAY KINDNESS CHALLENGE
It’s the holiday season, where people find ways to be more generous, loving and caring. I am issuing this challenge to you, and invite you to pay it forward. While you are going about your day to day life, take the 10 Day Kindness Challenge. Each day, do something nice for another person. It can be a stretch… like buying something significant for a family in need, or providing a homeless person with a meal (instead of spare change), or a recent trend to give a 100% tip (how cool is that). Or it can be simple. Pay a compliment. Smile. Initiate conversation with a co-worker that you were at odds with. Forgive a family member who wronged you. And once you take on the challenge – pay it forward. Invite 2 or 3 people to do the same. If you want to share on social media feel free. Or do it in a smaller, more anonymous way. But let’s do something good.
SPREAD THE LOVE AND WATCH IT GROW….
In love and peace,
Trina Ramsey is a career and life coach, specializing in personal transformation and career transition. With 20 years of experience in business and management, Trina is a "people person" and a change agent. Trina started her business, Perspectives Plus Coaching in 2009 after spending 15 years as a nonprofit fundraiser and experience running her own interior decorating business. For more on Trina visit trinaramsey.com. @PerspectivePlus or https://www.facebook.com/CareerTalkWithCoachTrina