Turning Let Go into Let’s GO!

I have a secret I want to share with you.

Outside of my wife and a few close friends, I’ve kept this little secret to myself and away from others, including my parents. 

But recently, I realized what I’ve been holding-in has actually been holding me back. 

I’ve spent the past several months spinning a narrative that said I retired from my last executive position. But, the reality is, I was let go.

After 18 years, the company’s new leadership notified me, in their right, that they were “changing directions.”

I’ve had jobs from paperboy to short-order cook, to sales representative to executive leader, but this was a first. 

I was shocked and embarrassed.

What did this say about me as a business leader?

What did this mean as a provider to my family?

What were my future career possibilities?

It was fertile soil for my little annoying gremlin.

What’s a gremlin, you ask?

Some call it an inner critic and others use more biting language. Regardless of the label, gremlins plant seeds of doubt and worry in your mind that show up before and/or after big events such as presentations, interviews, career changes — and even when you asked someone to prom.   

Yes, our gremlins loved our high school years because the seeds they planted can last a lifetime.  We all have them. They get you close and whisper: You are not bold enough, not smart enough, or cool enough.  

Or, in my case, they whispered: You are not competent enough.  Our inner, self-inflicted taunts think they are protecting us from judgment. But the truth is, they limit us and keep us stuck in the status quo.

It seemed like a safe play to call it  “retirement.” Although my age and lack of independent wealth confused people in my circle, calling my dismissal a retirement was a “good enough” description. But, it wasn’t true.

During my recovery from my cycling accident, I began to understand that “good enough” was no longer good enough. To reach my potential, I had to quiet that gremlin. I knew then, as I do now, that I always have choices.  

We all have choices. We can choose to listen to our gremlins and limit our potential, or we can breakaway and believe in our unlimited potential.  

I chose to believe that I was strong enough and tough enough to handle my physical rehabilitation, get back on that bike, and race again.

And eventually, I did.

Today, I’m choosing to breakaway, again, by sharing my truth with you.

Being let go doesn’t make me less of a leader. It just makes me human.

That pivotal moment in my life became my “jump-in moment.” It helped me to leap out of my comfort zone toward the unknown. It encouraged me to trust my values and to embrace the things that make me a unique leader, coach, speaker, and consultant.

Now, I harness those qualities to continue to build my own business and to serve my clients.

It feels good to be open and transparent. I probably should call my parents now, before they read this online.

Do you have a secret you have been holding in that holds you back?

Do you want to tell your gremlin to take a hike?

Do you want more than just “good enough” at work? 

If you’ve read this far, I believe you could answer yes to every one of those questions.

I can help you. Let’s connect today.  I have a special offer for all those gremlin slayers out there that I believe will help you make your own leap forward.

Click contact to set up a time for us to chat.


In his coaching practice, Peloton Coaching & Consulting, Michael O'Brien partners with today's business leaders to help them move from functional performance to optimal performance. His aim is to change lives by enhancing leadership energy, engagement, and fulfillment, and demonstrating how these qualities can cascade throughout organizations. To Learn more about Michael and Peloton Coaching & Consulting, visit www.pelotoncc.net.

Source: www.pelotoncc.net

3 essentials for a successful workout (career workout, that is)

Last year, I made a decision to workout with a trainer.  It was a long time coming.  Let’s be honest - I’ve tried every type of workout scheme known to man and can’t seem to keep a consistent routine.  

I start out strong and then other things take priority ...

the kids, laundry, chocolate … This time was going to be different.  

I bought new sneakers, cute exercise clothes and researched trainers.  I selected one that had a great personality and seemed in tune with my personal goals.  

At the end of three months, I was a beast.  My arms looked like something out of one of those superhero movies, my legs were defined and I could do 300 sit-ups without breaking a sweat.  But I didn’t start here … they call it a workout for a reason … it’s WORK!

I practiced six days a week, whether it was weight lifting, cardio or yoga.  Every day I was building muscle and gaining strength.  If I hadn’t kept up the work, I would have gone right back to where I started - out of shape.

I realized that my success was dependent upon my willingness to practice, practice, practice.

How about your corporate workout?  Just like a physical workout, your corporate workout should include strength training and plenty of practice.  

While your physical workout leads to more energy, toned muscles and overall strength, your corporate workout can lead to confidence, self awareness and success.  Why wouldn’t you want to get started today?!

Three muscles to flex in your corporate workout

1.                How to flex your public speaking muscles

  • Actively seek out opportunities to practice and grow your public speaking skills.  
  • Check out your local Toastmaster group (www.toastmasters.org) or speakers bureau.
  • Find people who do it well - and copy them!  Julian Treasure is one of my favorite TedTalks around how to speak so that people want to listen (http://bit.ly/1vOD73z).

2.                How to flex your networking muscles

  • Join an industry association.  If you’re not sure, check with your colleagues about the groups they attend and ask if you can attend as a visitor before joining.
  • If you’re already a member of a club or association … GO TO THE MEETINGS!!  Don’t sit in the back and leave the minute the gavel hits the podium.
  • Create a goal to introduce yourself to one or two new people each week.  (If you work in a small office, this could be tough, but give it a try).  

3.                How to flex your writing muscles

  • Journal every day.  Make it a point to write for 5 minutes each day (come on, you can do it!).  If you’re not sure what to write about, try this free ebook to get the ideas flowing - A Year of Blogging and Journaling Ideas by Cynthia Louden.
  • Start a blog.  Many websites provide a free option that allows you to try before you buy (www.wordpress.com).  I use Google’s Blogger (www.blogger.com) that easily links to my website.  Don’t think you have anything to say?  Simply write about things you know - food, exercise or relationships.
  • Write a fairy tale.  If none of these other options appeal to you and all else fails, write a whimsical story with yourself as the hero / heroine.

By training and strengthening your corporate body AND mind, you’ll become a force to be reckoned with!  You’ll develop skills that will create confidence, demonstrate leadership and your ability to stretch (pardon the pun) outside of your comfort zone.


Kim Black is a Certified Professional Coach that focuses on career advancement and life coaching for women.  She has more than 20 years of corporate experience and is passionate about helping her clients build their skills, achieve their goals and celebrate their successes.  She is the author of "Navigating the Corporate Jungle with Kim Black" and hosts a radio show on the Life Coach Radio Network.

Website:  www.kimblackcoaching.com

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/coachkimblack

Twitter:  @coachkimblack

Jump In & Move Beyond Good Enough

“Jump in OB. The water’s great,” they shouted up to me from the quarry.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a minute,” I shouted back.

But secretly I was thinking: Umm, there’s no way I am jumping in that quarry. My little buddy, Fear, and I will just hang out and watch everyone else have a great time.

Sitting on the edge watching everyone else leap forward is good enough.

That was the scene about 15 years ago during the Tyler Place Resort Mountain-Bike Ride, the capstone to our family vacation. Each Friday at Tyler Place, guests head out for a mountain-bike ride through Vermont’s single track, which hugs Lake Champlain. It’s great fun.

And the piece de resistance of the ride is throwing caution to the wind and jumping into the quarry. It’s a 34-foot drop (see video) from the edge to the water below.

The easy part, at least for me, was the mountain-bike ride. The jump? Not so much. 

I’m a strong believer of Sheryl Sandberg’s lean in message. I love it because as a business leadership coach and motivational speaker, I witness many people who  just sit on the sidelines and settle for good enough rather than choosing to lean in and take action. 

The truth is, sometimes, to really breakthrough to the next level of success, you need to jump in with both feet.

I was doing plenty of leaning in at the quarry. I would gingerly walk to the edge, look down, gulp, and scurry back. I did this about three times until I finally asked myself: What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

The answer: I would jump in.

In that moment, I knew I had a choice. I could listen to my little buddy Fear, or I could leap forward into the unknown and jump in. 

I ended up jumping in four times that day.

That literal leap of faith gave me the confidence I needed to make the decision to jump from executive leadership to starting my own coaching and consulting firm.

As I was making my decision on my career jump, my reliable little buddy Fear showed up again to harass me and stir up limiting beliefs.   

Michael, what if you can’t provide for your family?

What if you embarrass yourself?

What if you can’t run your own business?

Just like at the quarry, I had to take a leap of faith. Neither leap was easy. But, I realized I had a choice: I could let Fear drive my decision or I could trust my talents, instincts, and enthusiasm and jump in. 

And again, I jumped.

I’m so thankful I did.

Whether you’re jumping into a quarry, voicing your opinion, changing careers, or going for that big promotion, Fear has a way of making you doubt yourself. It does everything it can to hold you back.  

Your job is to name the Fear and jump in in spite of it.

So, let me ask you: What would you do if you weren’t afraid? 

How would your work be different? 

Are you tired of settling for “good enough?” 

If you answered yes, that’s terrific because you know that good enough isn’t really good enough if you want to maximize success in your career and life.   

If you are looking for a partner who can help you move beyond good enough, I encourage you to contact me today. Reference this blog post, in our call, and I’ll give you a special offer to help you leverage your belief system and maximize your career and life.  

Go ahead. What are you waiting for?  Jump in. The water is great. 


In his coaching practice, Peloton Coaching & Consulting, Michael O'Brien partners with today's business leaders to help them move from functional performance to optimal performance. His aim is to change lives by enhancing leadership energy, engagement, and fulfillment, and demonstrating how these qualities can cascade throughout organizations. To Learn more about Michael and Peloton Coaching & Consulting, visit www.pelotoncc.net.

Source: www.pelotoncc.net

"Put Away the Milk, Please” – The Importance of the Basics in Growing Your Business

I’ve taken plenty of workshops and training classes, but some of the best lessons I’ve learned are from my family and home life.

Today I’m sharing two of my favorites:  

“Put Away the Milk, Please” – The Importance of the Basics

When my youngest daughter was 4, she became self-sufficient when it came to making breakfast. Every morning, she’d get out the cereal box, the orange juice, and the milk.

Like most 4 year olds, she was great at getting things out; however, putting them back was not one of her strong suits.

The cereal and orange juice were easily forgiven. But the milk—oh, the milk. That was a different story. 

My favorite post-workout treat is a glass of cold chocolate milk. As an avid cyclist, I’ve used it as my post-workout recovery drink long before it was considered a “recovery drink.”

In the mornings, after I returned from my ride, I did some stretches, and pretended to do some core exercises as my thoughts drifted towards my anticipated glass of cold chocolate milk.

But, when my daughter forgot to return the milk to the refrigerator…Yep, you got it, the milk would be luke-warm.

Have you ever tried drinking luke-warm milk after a workout?

Not so great.

So, instead of downing my favorite treat, I would have to pause to patiently remind her of the importance of putting things away, especially the milk. After a while she got it, and order was restored in the world—at least where chocolate milk was concerned.

There’s a lesson in there for all of us. Regardless of whether you are a leader or individual contributor, your organization counts on you to “put away the milk.” It’s a basic responsibility. 

When the basics are done well, you have time for other meaningful work like selling your vision, evaluating your strategy, strengthening your culture, and developing your people.  

So, how much time do you spend asking others “to put away the milk?” What’s it costing you and your organization?

Take it Upstairs - A Leader at Work and Home

In my home, anytime something needs to go up to the 2nd floor, my wife and I place it on the stairs. There’s no email, no vmail, no memo attached; it’s simply understood that if something is on the stairs, it needs to go up.

When our kids were young, we were pleasantly surprised when they took the initiative to carry something upstairs. It was unexpected, and clearly one of those “we-got-this-parenting-thing-down” moments, and it balanced out some of our “milk challenges.”

As the other adult in the house, it was expected that I’d carry things upstairs. When I did there were no gold stars, no perk-points, no attaboy-memos from the CEO. However, it was valued as it was a basic task that helped the household run smoothly.

Here’s the lesson: If you see something on the stairs, take it up. You may not have put it there, and it may not belong to you. That’s not the point.

Regardless of whether it’s a broken process or helping a short-staffed team, your job, as a leader, is to pitch in and help solve the problem. Don’t walk past it and declare it someone else’s job. When you take action, you send a powerful leadership message about the culture you wish to create.

The basics aren’t sexy. But the truth is, they never go out of style. 

So how much time do you spend on the reinforcing the basics? What are those constant reminders to fill out expense reports correctly, see the opportunities within the challenges, and behave like the competition is outside and not within costing you and your company? 

If you took time to add it up, it would probably be significant. It may be costing you stress, engagement, effectiveness, efficiency, and, most likely, top and bottom-line maximization.  For a moment, imagine what would be possible if the basics were second nature, the milk was always put away and things were matter-of-factly taken upstairs.

If you are interested in sharing a glass of chocolate milk, I’m game. Just contact me at Michael@pelotoncc.net


In his coaching practice, Peloton Coaching & Consulting, Michael O'Brien partners with today's business leaders to help them move from functional performance to optimal performance. His aim is to change lives by enhancing leadership energy, engagement, and fulfillment, and demonstrating how these qualities can cascade throughout organizations. To Learn more about Michael and Peloton Coaching & Consulting, visit www.pelotoncc.net.


Source: www.pelotoncc.net

The Greatness of Optimal: Ending the Work-Life Balance Myth

Can 2015 mark the year we end our Sisyphean work-life balance pursuit? It seems that we’ve been looking for this magical firewall between work and life for most of my working career, and we can’t seem to find it. 

So what’s up?

It’s a myth. During the halcyon days of the mid-80s, when work-life balance was first referenced, we didn’t have to contend with today’s ubiquitous connectivity.  With the innovation of email, smart phones, and social media, the line between work and life is blurred at best.  So let’s stop searching for the comprise of work life and personal life balance. Rather, let’s take action to maximize our fulfillment, happiness, and mindfulness in our one life.

Based on my experience as an executive, business leadership coach, and motivational speaker, the genesis of our work-life drama usually starts at work even as we carve out personal time for exercise, downtime, etc. As a result, if work is less than ideal, then it’s hard to live a full life. Here are 3 steps to gain more fulfillment at work.

Alignment

Get clear on your values and take action that aligns with them.  Determine what gets you jazzed and ensure that your daily choices align to your values.

Beliefs

What gives you that “I got this and here’s how” confidence? It’s your inner greatness.  You know it.  It’s led to your success.  However, we also have moments when that inner critic steps in, plants doubt, and stirs up fear.  An optimal life isn’t possible when we listen to that inner critic. It sucks the potential out of us.  Learn how to lead with your inner greatness.

Calendar Choices

Own your time! Stop sacrificing your joy and success by settling for ineffective meetings.  You get to choose how you meet and connect with your co-workers.

Here are some easy steps to get more out of your meetings:

  1.  Start and end on time
  2. Shorten your meetings by at least 15 minutes. Get focused and use your extra time for planning, reflecting, or biology
  3. Stop multitasking
  4. Set up more “Walk and Talk” meetings
  5. Accept/send meeting requests with a set agenda and objectives
  6. Decline meetings without a clear purpose
  7. Increase the laughter factor
  8. Agree on clear action steps and ownership

Living these A, B, Cs can help you gain more happiness at work.  Make 2015 the year you trade the compromise of balance for the greatness of optimal. To learn more contact me at Michael@pelotoncc.net.


In his coaching practice, Peloton Coaching & Consulting, Michael O'Brien partners with today's business leaders to help them move from functional performance to optimal performance. His aim is to change lives by enhancing leadership energy, engagement, and fulfillment, and demonstrating how these qualities can cascade throughout organizations. To Learn more about Michael and Peloton Coaching & Consulting, visit www.pelotoncc.net.

Source: www.pelotoncc.net

Please Don’t Speak For Me, Sheryl

I almost lost my mind while watching a brief clip of an interview Arianna Huffington did with Sheryl Sandberg...Then, subsequently read her New York Times piece entitled, “Speaking While Female.”... Like, I may have yelled at my computer screen in reaction to the content. In the clip and referenced article, which was embedded in a Huffington Post piece entitled, “Sheryl Sandberg: ‘It’s Still Hard to Speak In a Professional Setting As a Woman,” what I heard her say was, in order for women to feel more comfortable speaking up in Corporate America, everyone OTHER THAN WOMEN has to change. And, since the message I heard is perpetuating the notion that we, as women, are (still) victims, I would like to ask that you, Sheryl, please not speak for me. I don’t feel like a victim. I have never felt like a victim (except for when I actually was one, growing up in my crazy, dysfunctional home.) I was never scared to speak in meetings and never felt ignored. That’s not to say I haven’t been ignored, I just don’t think I took it personally and probably spoke up about it because I think it’s rude.

This is what you said that made me go a little bit crazy...

”Even with all the progress we’ve made, it’s still really hard to speak in a professional setting as a woman. Women face real barriers….As human beings, we are incredibly sensitive to people’s reactions. If you watch someone say something, you see how the person reacts...the person who’s speaking reacts. And, as women, we kind of fall in one of two paths…..either we speak out aggressively and affirmatively and are results focused and then people often think, you know, she’s not nice. I don’t like her. She’s too aggressive. OR, we’re quiet and spoken over. We’re interrupted more, we take more notes in meetings, we sit in the back more and that’s really hurting women’s ability to get to leadership.” And, then she goes on to ask that people start calling on women first “Obamastyle” (as he did when he only called on female reporters in his most recent press conference) so that women get to speak.

For reference, here are the links to the Huffington Post interview and NY Times articles:

HuffPo clip: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/23/sheryl-sandberg-davos_n_6506188.html

NY Times piece: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/opinion/sunday/speaking-while-female.html

First let me say that, as much as I love Obama, what he did by calling, only on women, was an incredibly calculated, yet effective, PR move. I mean, it created the phrase, “Obamastyle,” for you to use to support your argument. Next, I’d like to ask...

  • Are ‘we’ as human beings all really incredibly sensitive to people’s reactions?
  • If ‘we’ are, why is it so and, what does it cost us as human beings? Maybe just some of us are somewhat sensitive and some, not at all?
  • Could ‘we’ ever include men?
  • Do ‘we’ really only fall into only two paths? Either aggressive or quiet?....That’s it?

Maybe there are some other options?

I believe the message is antiquated and not addressing the real problem at hand, which is a matter of confidence and authenticity…. period. I also believe confidence and authenticity or, the lack there of, is gender neutral.

Confidence and authenticity come from within. Both come with self-examination, self-awareness and self-acceptance. Both come from allowing ourselves to be who we are, not who we THINK we should be. Faking it, overcompensating or throwing in the towel if they are lacking, are unfortunate alternatives and glaringly obvious...even on an unconscious level.

Instead of perpetuating the notion that women are being victimized, how about offering a solution to help them help themselves? Why not have a dialogue about this, and not state it’s everyone else’s problem to fix? So, instead of speaking FOR women in a way that makes them seem like damsels in distress, why not ask: 

  • Why do some women feel this way?
  • Why use the word aggressive, not assertive?
  • Do you, Sheryl, feel uncomfortable when you speak up?
  • Did you once, but don’t anymore? And, if not, what changed? This could be helpful for women to know.
  • What are ALL of the variables that exist in these male/female scenarios? Is it not possible that, as with some men, not all questions or talking points made by all women are good points? For example, some people speak up in groups because they want attention, not because they have something relevant to say. Women AND men.
  • Why is being “liked” even an issue? It’s not for most men. (Remember that line from A League of Their Own about no crying in baseball?)
  • Is it possible that women’s feelings of self-consciousness come across when they speak up, thus making them less engaging? This must also happen when men speak too, no?
  • Do women feel the need to overcompensate for their lack of confidence by being aggressive? Is it like the 2015 equivalent to wearing shoulder pads, as women did in the 80s to appear, in physique, more like men?

And, with regard to all of these rude men…

  • Would it not be beneficial to ask them why they think it’s ok to speak over a woman when she starts to speak? There could be an overcompensation (confidence issue) there too.

In your book, you asked women to lean in. Did you ask women to ask themselves why they don’t? In your NY Times piece, you cited studies that support your argument but, what about studies on the importance and effectiveness of confidence?

I am entirely for equality, across the board, and for getting rid of discrimination. I absolutely believe that the equal pay issue needs to be resolved. However, I don’t think attaching women’s feelings of inadequacies and self-judgment helps this issue. In fact, I believe it is harmful in that it promotes the idea that it is not in our (women’s) power to help ourselves. Everyone is scared of something. Everyone struggles with limiting beliefs about themselves and life in general. Why not figure out a way to bring these internal struggles to light? Don’t just lean in, start to work from within.


Danielle Gibson works with people who want to "speak up." That is, they want to have the ability to be more direct/straight forward. She believes confidence, authenticity, good communication skills and paying attention to one's intuition are essential components. And, they serve as some important focal points in her coaching practice. To contact Danielle, please email: danielle.gibson@gmail.com

Smart Career Women Can Have Sustainable Relationships

Hitting the five zero a few years back was overshadowed by a hectic work schedule which left little time for celebration. If I’m brutally honest though, with 2 marriages and single motherhood on my resume, it felt more like my life was in desperate need of an overhaul to break this unhealthy cycle. How could I get on the path to achieve real and sustained happiness in my personal relationships? 

The reality is, unfortunately, that I am just one of thousands in this situation across America. We grew up in households with parents who were ill-equipped to teach us how to form relationships and what our roles should be; they themselves muddled through with limited input from their own parents. This has resulted in a generation of co-dependent women who seem to attract imbalanced relationships, without the means or skills to dig themselves out of this dilemma.

What is really going on? 

Today’s intelligent and business-savvy women are high in “book smarts” which overcompensates for their lack of EQ (emotional intelligence quotient). In literal terms, their hearts become a magnet for the wrong type of relationship.

Michael Noer created a furor back in 2006 with his article in Forbes Magazine which suggested that men should not consider career women as marriage material. His rationale came from studies which concluded that professional women had a higher propensity to cheat and/or get divorced, and were less likely to want children. This theory was further fuelled by the American Journal of Marriage and Family, whose studies demonstrated a higher divorce risk where wives were the main bread winners. 

There is a wealth of evidence which supports the notion that successful women are incapable of sustaining meaningful relationships for a variety of reasons; these include being too controlling, lack of tolerance for a less successful partner, and the resentment from their partners for their financial success. Surely this then begs the question why is this happening and how can we stop it? 

Pride comes before a fall 

Dr. Robert Holden, author of Success Intelligence, is at the cutting edge of psychological relationship research and offers the following explanation: "To have a successful relationship, you have to have a developed EQ which is emotional empathy and a respect for each other's feelings. Women are often so headstrong that they override what their heart is feeling. Without the engagement of the head and the heart, relationships are not a safe place to be, but the smart woman is headstrong enough to tell herself that she will be able to make this work." Women have become embarrassed to admit that they take the lead in their relationships, and subsequently how this power and control has caused major damage to their relationships.  

In other words, we fall at the first hurdle because we’ve been conditioned to bypass our intuition and it gets us into trouble.  Case in point, my intuition ringing warning bells that landed me in ER for a severe panic attack before my wedding ten years ago to my second ex, only to realize with clarity that I had married the wrong man.  At the time, I kind of knew that the marriage was doomed but convinced myself that with our religious upbringings, "I" could make it work. 

How to change your Modus Operandi 

What energy vibe are you leading with when you meet a guy? 

* Do you find the signals you give are at complete odds to what you are feeling?

* I don't want you to meet my children?

* I'm seeing other men so I don't want you to get too close?

* I'm a financially self-sufficient woman who has her kids, career and only needs a man for sex? 

These vibes can be incredibly emasculating. When men respond by being detached, our emotional side kicks in and we wonder - why isn't he falling in love with me?

Let's be honest, most of us sensible girls aren’t very happy. Often we are the real victims because we just accept that any romantic situation is OK, when in reality it's not.  We have gotten used to wearing this very confident façade which is really to disguise our fear of not being in control and lack of self-acceptance. Intimacy involves a higher potential for rejection and the risk of being hurt and dealing with painful and scary situations. So, we become relationship jumpers because "there was no love there and he didn't stimulate me", "we rushed into it too quickly without knowing each other", or "he was my rebound guy". 

Getting to happy 

What advice can I give to successful career women who are often (secretly) unhappy and unsuccessful in love?   

·         Be willing to admit when you've got it wrong

·         Don't be too quick to lead with your body or looks

·         A sense of humor or succession of compliments is not a fair exchange for you or your money

·         Leave your dominance and competitiveness in the office

·         Don't love carelessly or unconsciously

·         Stop playing the victim role. Be open to embracing the joy of being a woman and having a rewarding career.

Finally, work on developing your EQ. Learn to have emotional strength that is about surrender, openness and a willingness to let go. This is absolutely essential because it determines the quality of your relationships with others. It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect other people to love you more than you love yourself.

For too long, women like me and others have failed to recognize while building our careers that integrating the emotional and intuitive side of life is just as important. Whether you are in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, the time is now to educate our young women to wake up -- use your head and intuition. Test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, and not some sentimental gush. 

Ask for help 

Fast forward to the present day and we need to honestly evaluate whether Mike’s predictions were mere ramblings or an accurate sign of things to come. Look at your circle of strong sisters, are they in happy and healthy relationships or just applying an extra coat of lipstick and giving the impression that they are “in control”?

Why wait until your next breakup or your power and control triggers surface before making a change? If you hear another “it’s complicated” excuse from a friend, have the tough conversation and have her confront her fears. In order to have a healthy relationship, you must put in the necessary effort to change your attitude about what you are really looking for and prepared to give in return. If you’re feeling lost and really don’t know where to start, stay tuned for some practical steps to gain clarity on getting to happy.

In the meantime, feel free to get in touch with any relationship questions or concerns that you may have – debrah@just4mygirls.com

Debrah Mathis, PC, ELI-MP is a highly sought-after Business, Life and Career Coach in Dallas, TX. My mission is to develop individuals, couples & families with the tools & skills needed for better work-life integration in this new economy. Connect with her on LinkedIn, Follow @EngagetoSuccess, and LIKE Engage to Success Facebook Group page.


Source: www.EngagetoSuccess.com