Jump In & Move Beyond Good Enough

“Jump in OB. The water’s great,” they shouted up to me from the quarry.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a minute,” I shouted back.

But secretly I was thinking: Umm, there’s no way I am jumping in that quarry. My little buddy, Fear, and I will just hang out and watch everyone else have a great time.

Sitting on the edge watching everyone else leap forward is good enough.

That was the scene about 15 years ago during the Tyler Place Resort Mountain-Bike Ride, the capstone to our family vacation. Each Friday at Tyler Place, guests head out for a mountain-bike ride through Vermont’s single track, which hugs Lake Champlain. It’s great fun.

And the piece de resistance of the ride is throwing caution to the wind and jumping into the quarry. It’s a 34-foot drop (see video) from the edge to the water below.

The easy part, at least for me, was the mountain-bike ride. The jump? Not so much. 

I’m a strong believer of Sheryl Sandberg’s lean in message. I love it because as a business leadership coach and motivational speaker, I witness many people who  just sit on the sidelines and settle for good enough rather than choosing to lean in and take action. 

The truth is, sometimes, to really breakthrough to the next level of success, you need to jump in with both feet.

I was doing plenty of leaning in at the quarry. I would gingerly walk to the edge, look down, gulp, and scurry back. I did this about three times until I finally asked myself: What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

The answer: I would jump in.

In that moment, I knew I had a choice. I could listen to my little buddy Fear, or I could leap forward into the unknown and jump in. 

I ended up jumping in four times that day.

That literal leap of faith gave me the confidence I needed to make the decision to jump from executive leadership to starting my own coaching and consulting firm.

As I was making my decision on my career jump, my reliable little buddy Fear showed up again to harass me and stir up limiting beliefs.   

Michael, what if you can’t provide for your family?

What if you embarrass yourself?

What if you can’t run your own business?

Just like at the quarry, I had to take a leap of faith. Neither leap was easy. But, I realized I had a choice: I could let Fear drive my decision or I could trust my talents, instincts, and enthusiasm and jump in. 

And again, I jumped.

I’m so thankful I did.

Whether you’re jumping into a quarry, voicing your opinion, changing careers, or going for that big promotion, Fear has a way of making you doubt yourself. It does everything it can to hold you back.  

Your job is to name the Fear and jump in in spite of it.

So, let me ask you: What would you do if you weren’t afraid? 

How would your work be different? 

Are you tired of settling for “good enough?” 

If you answered yes, that’s terrific because you know that good enough isn’t really good enough if you want to maximize success in your career and life.   

If you are looking for a partner who can help you move beyond good enough, I encourage you to contact me today. Reference this blog post, in our call, and I’ll give you a special offer to help you leverage your belief system and maximize your career and life.  

Go ahead. What are you waiting for?  Jump in. The water is great. 


In his coaching practice, Peloton Coaching & Consulting, Michael O'Brien partners with today's business leaders to help them move from functional performance to optimal performance. His aim is to change lives by enhancing leadership energy, engagement, and fulfillment, and demonstrating how these qualities can cascade throughout organizations. To Learn more about Michael and Peloton Coaching & Consulting, visit www.pelotoncc.net.

Source: www.pelotoncc.net

Where Is The Love?

These words are from the song, "Where is the Love", by the Black Eyed Peas. Very fitting indeed... 

A lot is going on in our world right now. We are becoming more and more divided, and less and less tolerant of one another. And people are dying at the hands of those who should be protecting them. Nations are turning against nations, and friends and family members are at odds about the “right way” to handle things. And social media and traditional media is whipping us up into a frenzy.  It’s nuts.  And it doesn’t have to be. 

I am one of those people that can sometimes annoy others with my optimism. I find a way to look on the bright side or lend an encouraging word. But to be honest, I am struggling right now.  And while I’m trying to stay informed, I am avoiding those talking head shows like the plague – because the producers inevitably pit people with vastly opposing views against one another and they slug it out with words – analyzing and replaying what has happened when the truth is – we have to move FORWARD from here.  

Today I’m going to contrast two emotions:  Fear vs. Love.

FEAR

Fear breeds mistrust and distances people. I see you as my enemy instead of my potential ally.  I am in a “fight or flight” posture, and when things get heated, I will fight (or shoot) first and ask questions later.  Every man (or woman) for him/herself.  This is a lonely, disempowered and diminished existence. 

LOVE

Love promotes openness and understanding.  I see you first and foremost as another human being.  I trust you first, and assume the best. And when we disagree, I work with you to find a place of mutual understanding so that we can move forward.  This is a much more empowered stance, and tends to help people to move forward and seek unity.

Here’s the thing:  We will NEED TO WORK TOGETHER to get to the other side of this. And we will need to learn how to see the commonalities in one another instead of the difference.  As Steven Covey states, “seek first to understand, then to be understood”.  United we stand, divided we fall… all that good stuff.  The problems of our nation and our world are so huge that it can be difficult to imagine workable solutions. But look to South Africa where apartheid was the norm until a different way was imagined, and until the collective will of the people set things in motion to create lasting change in that country.  Look to Germany, where world leaders got to the point of tearing down a wall that divided the country for many years. Real change can happen, but we must be open to it. We must first put our fears aside and open ourselves up to love.

10 DAY KINDNESS CHALLENGE

It’s the holiday season, where people find ways to be more generous, loving and caring.  I am issuing this challenge to you, and invite you to pay it forward.  While you are going about your day to day life, take the 10 Day Kindness Challenge.  Each day, do something nice for another person. It can be a stretch… like buying something significant for a family in need, or providing a homeless person with a meal (instead of spare change), or a recent trend to give a 100% tip (how cool is that). Or it can be simple. Pay a compliment. Smile. Initiate conversation with a co-worker that you were at odds with. Forgive a family member who wronged you.  And once you take on the challenge – pay it forward. Invite 2 or 3 people to do the same.  If you want to share on social media feel free. Or do it in a smaller, more anonymous way. But let’s do something good. 

SPREAD THE LOVE AND WATCH IT GROW….

In love and peace, 

Trina


Trina Ramsey is a career and life coach, specializing in personal transformation and career transition. With 20 years of experience in business and management, Trina is a "people person" and a change agent. Trina started her business, Perspectives Plus Coaching in 2009 after spending 15 years as a nonprofit fundraiser and experience running her own interior decorating business. For more on Trina visit trinaramsey.com. @PerspectivePlus  or https://www.facebook.com/CareerTalkWithCoachTrina

Source: http://www.trinaramsey.com/

Fear Around Cancer Recurrence

I was at a conference this weekend, among a group of women who had metastatic breast cancer. The courage and the fear that these women had was amazing! They all came to the discussion wanting answers to individual questions and the group provided a safe place for them to share all of their fears and accomplishments. It was amazing how at the beginning of the discussion the energy was kind of wary in the room, but by the end of the discussion there was a sense of unity among the group!

One woman expressed how she had beat the disease for many years without recurrence, but now because of that length of time that had gone by, she had a feeling that “the other shoe might drop” and that maybe it was time for her disease to recur. She also expressed that if and when she passed from her disease she was concerned about all of the grief and pain her children would have to endure.

Fear of recurrence is a very real, valid and normal feeling for survivors of any cancer and it is always there lurking in the back of one’s mind. As a survivorship coach it was amazing what the group, myself included, tried to share with this woman and that was to shift her perspective to not seeing the length of her “well-being” as a fear, but more of an accomplishment of all of the achievements since her diagnosis and perhaps the longer “out” since diagnosis and treatment she was, how much better life could be. We also shared a change of perception of why not enjoying her children and have her children enjoy her in the here and now in lieu of thinking about the future, which often causes fear and anxiety.

For myself, I will admit, fear of recurrence is always there for me, but I don’t live my life daily in that state or rather I reframe my thoughts so see and live a better picture. I have learned that there are triggers for me that prompt my fear of recurrence. Since I have had so many losses in my life, e.g., divorce, loss of my mom and days later giving birth to my daughter, and via the diagnosis of breast cancer and losing the “old me” that when things start going well for me and in a very energetic direction, that is when my fear of recurrence comes in. Somewhat like this woman, when things are going my way, thoughts like: “Omg, things are going so well, this is too good to be true, my cancer must be coming back!!!” come up for me. This can be a very real and frightening experience and it can bring you back to the day of diagnosis. When these draining thoughts come up for me I catch myself and tell myself that the messages that I am hearing are my “trigger points” and that they are coming from an old voice inside of my head that is no longer serving me. Once I get to this place I am able to shift and refocus my thoughts to the here and now.

If you think about it, the here and now is all any of us really have so why not inhale and embrace every moment of it. Just remember a few things: you are not alone and all of the thoughts, feelings that are coming up for you are perfectly valid and normal for where you are. The thing is, you have a choice to change your thoughts and that can change your life!

If you are need some support in your journey in this regard, reach out to me or another professional. You can live a life of peace and happiness with cancer.  Cancer does not define you, you define you and changing your thoughts can create sustainable change for you! 

Coaching provides a safe, confidential environment for you to share your experiences, while collecting tools to shift your perspective from draining thoughts to healing thoughts.  You can email me at gina@newbeginningswithgina.com, visit my fb page: facebook.com/ginacostacoach, visit my website: gina@ewbeginningswithgina.com or just give me a call 917-882-2402. 


Gina Costa, CPC, ELI-MP is the founder of New Beginnings Coaching Services, LLC, which helps women diagnosed with breast cancer cope, step by step, with the emotional and physical challenges they experience, so they gain confidence and feel in control of their life again. To learn more about Gina and her coaching practice, visit http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com/

Source: http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com/

The Number One Killer Of Dreams

What is the number one killer of dreams?

... Insecurity? 

... Laziness? 

... Lack of drive? 

All of those things can  contribute to us not getting what we want out of life.  But in my opinion, the biggest factor keeping us from pursuing our dreams is a simple 4-letter word....fear.

Fear attacks us from all sides. We’re afraid to fail, afraid to not do “what’s expected of us”, afraid of looking bad, afraid to succeed! We’re afraid of losing money, prestige, standing in the community. Afraid of what “they” will think of us.

So we ignore our inner voice. We stuff down the yearning inside of us. We play it safe. We stay in our lane. And life goes on… and on… and on.

And sometimes, most of the time, things work out ok.  And that’s fine. Except for that nagging voice that always wonders “what if”.  What if I had gone for that promotion, moved to another city or country, found the courage to leave a bad relationship or a job I detest instead of settling for “it’s better than nothing”?

But sometimes the nagging sensation eats at us, and we slowly over time realize that “there’s got to be more to life than this”. Yet we allow our fear to keep us trapped in that smaller, safer place. And we become miserable. And we may in turn make the other people in our lives miserable too.

Here’s the thing.

I’m on a mission y’all.  I want to inspire and support people to push past their fear and say “yes” to themselves. I know what it’s like to say “no” to my inner voice, who quietly prodded me to try something new. And I shut her down… QUICKLY (in 30 seconds flat - to be specific).  

And now I also know what it’s like to say “yes” to myself and pursue my gift.  No I’m not a millionaire, and this is still a “side gig” for me.  But let me tell you… I’m having a BALL!  If you’ve listened to my radio show or been to one of my workshops, I’m sure it’s pretty evident.  And THIS feeling is what I feel called to help others achieve.  Because at the end of the day, we only get one crack at this thing called life.  And I’m determined to squeeze every drop out of it. 

Take a few minutes to ponder this…

We’ve got a little more than 90 days left in 2014.  What are you going to do with the rest of it?

Try this exercise for me.  Are you game?  OK… Here we go.

Sit comfortably for 5 minutes and ponder these questions. If you want, write about it. Or just think. If now is not a good time, print this out and come back to it. Trust me – it’s worth it. 

1.   What do I want that I haven’t allowed myself to consider – for whatever practical reason (or out of fear)?

2.    What would change if I allowed myself to consider the POSSIBILITY of pursuing this thing?

3.    How do I feel right now even thinking about this?

4.    What ONE thing can I do that is within my power, time and resources, to make a positive impact in my life before 2014 ends?

What came up for you? Did that feel exciting or SCARY? Empowering? If you came up with something positive to do before 2014, I implore you to follow through on it – no matter how big or small.  Because here’s the bottom line.  Life ticks by… moment by moment… day by day... And we look up and it’s 10 years later.  Carpe Diem my friend! Seize this moment.  Who knows where this one decision will take you!

Today I’m not selling anything. I just want to encourage you to think more about what’s possible in your life. And if this message encouraged you or caused even a tiny shift, I’d love to hear about it.  If you know someone who would benefit from this message, please forward it on. 

Pay it forward! 


Trina Ramsey is a career and life coach, specializing in personal transformation and career transition. With 20 years of experience in business and management, Trina is a "people person" and a change agent. Trina started her business, Perspectives Plus Coaching in 2009 after spending 15 years as a nonprofit fundraiser and experience running her own interior decorating business.

For more on Trina visit trinaramsey.com. @PerspectivePlus or https://www.facebook.com/CareerTalkWithCoachTrina

Source: www.trinaramsey.com

What To Do When Your Own Worst Enemy Is You

 A year or so ago, I went to a friend’s 50th birthday party. This is someone I have known for over a decade and who I consider myself relatively close to.

I have been to parties he has thrown before, and they are generally your typical cocktail party where the guests stand around eating, drinking and socializing. So it was a great shock to me on this occasion when my friend announced he had rented a karaoke machine and wanted everyone to perform at some point.

This was a side of my friend that I had never seen in all the years I had known him. And at this event, one that he threw for himself to celebrate himself, I learned two important things about him. The first is that he has a terrible voice and that I will never be hiring him to sing at an event I am throwing. The second, and more important by far, was that he had the ability to throw caution to the wind and simply enjoy the activity without the worry of what people might think of him.

I refused to perform that day no matter how many times he asked me, but still, I instinctively knew I needed to be open to the idea letting go of some of my inhibitions. I left that party in awe of my friend and vowed that I would work on developing a little of that carefree attitude for myself.

The funny thing is, for someone who gets very nervous about making a fool of himself, my long term career goal is to become a public speaker in my field of coaching. I want to give presentations, be invited to be part of discussion panels, facilitate workshops and the likes.

I have some experience talking in front of people and as long as I feel perfectly comfortable with my subject matter, I do fairly well. But one thing I realize is that I will never get really good until I can let go of my self-consciousness.

Entering into my coach training program has really pushed me to the edge of my comfort zone in this area. For one of my class projects, I chose to give a presentation in front of my peers. And although it went relatively well, I really survived it by going into this sort of out of body experience; one where I found myself almost completely disconnected to what was going on. When I finished the presentation, I found myself needing to come back to reality. My classmates were saying really nice things to me, but I wasn’t really present to take them in.

A little over a year ago one of my fellow coaching students, and someone I am proud to call my friend, launched the Life Coach Radio Networks and asked me participate. I have certainly never done radio before, but I knew that if I wanted to become a public speaker, I needed to pursue every avenue presented to me that gave me the chance to speak publically. And thankfully the radio show has given me this one avenue.

After doing my very first show, my instinct was to avoid listening to myself. I have never liked the sound of my own voice and really resisted the idea of forcing myself to do it now. But after a couple of more times on air, I decided that the only way I was going to get better was to listen for areas that need improvement. And the only way to do that was to listen to myself. Eventually I have gotten used to my voice and I don’t cringe when I hear it.

Over the last week or so, I have begun the process of the next phase in putting myself out there. I have written the concept and script for my very first video presentation.

Today I began doing some testing on the logistics of recording myself and I have to admit it was uncomfortable to the point that I just had to quit. Watching myself on the playback, even that paltry 30 seconds I was recording in different ways, brought up the deepest fears I have about myself.

In my coach training I was introduced to the concept of a gremlin. Recently, I heard Dr. Brene Brown use the same term. In each case, the term gremlin refers to the deepest, darkest voice we all have whose entire purpose is to keep us small.

Growing up gay in a small midwestern town in the 70s and 80s, I always knew I was different and I knew that it wasn’t the good kind of different. I became hypersensitive about how people perceived me. I was no different that any other kid in the sense that I just wanted to fit in. So I essentially did what I did while giving my class presentation; I went into my own little mental shell. I didn’t really accept myself for who I was; I simply went into a state of denial.

My friend, and founder of the radio network, Russ Terry, recently quoted me in one of his videos. He used something that I heard over 20 years ago, something that profoundly changed my life. The quote was, “Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.”

In many ways I have taken that concept to heart and it has allowed me to become far more comfortable in my own skin than I really ever imagined possible for myself. But seeing myself on video today, seeing the mannerisms that I had worked so hard to deny existed, stare me back in the face was truly gut wrenching.

That little gremlin, the one that tells me that I am different in a way that people won’t accept, the one that tells me I will always be judged negatively and the one that tells me that I am inherently unlikeable, screamed loud and clear today. It reminded me that it is almost never other people who get in the way of my success; it is usually me.

So what do you do when you realize your own worst enemy is you? You have courage. You face the fears and do it anyway.

For me, I will get back to testing the best ways for me to create this video that is the first in a planned series of five. I will do what I need to do overcome my self-doubt and my self-criticism. I will surround myself with energy and people who will encourage me and help me succeed. I will simply just keep at it.

For the thing is, although I am often my own worst enemy, I am also my greatest hope. I just have to decide which aspect of myself I wish to tap into.

 

Tim Billiter

Tim Billiter

Tim Billiter, owner of DIY for Your Soul (www.diyforyoursoul.com), is a Certified Life/Life Purpose Coach on a mission is to assist people in creating the life of their dreams by helping them understand that they must first build a strong foundation on which to construct that life. His role as a coach is helping his clients develop new thought processes and skills to create the life they desire, but more importantly, to show them that much of what they think they lack is, and always was, right inside of them.