What is the worst possible scenario that could be? It’s not always our truth!

Don’t let the title of this article lead you to a negative mindset, it’s not meant to. It is all about shifting to a more positive and realistic frame of mind. In coaching we call this “safety net” coaching and we use it to let clients explore what the worst possible outcome in a situation might be, because most of the time it isn’t the truth and just a story or a flurry of thoughts that we create in our minds that only serves us by holding us back and keep us stuck in non-movement and in a place of fear. It came to mind for me earlier today as fear came up for me. It was then that I realized that I had unknowingly used safety net coaching in my own life challenges and I thought I would share some examples of what that looks like. Fear can be a very real feeling, yet it can also be a debilitating one and in that sense not real and it holds us back from what we truly want.

So for me in certain life challenges and to get to the next level I had to ask myself the question: “What is the worst possible thing that could happen?” When I thought about the worst and wrapped my mind around that, I think it lead me to: “Ok, so what is the best possible outcome?” and it allowed me to process things in a more realistic and present mindset.

When I was deciding if I wanted to end a marriage in my late 20’s, I was terrified to leave the relationship for many reasons and I thought of what the worst possible outcome could be, and there really was none. In fact, the worst possible scenario would have been if I stayed in the relationship and remained unhappy and looked back in the same place years later with regret.

In my 30’s I experienced the traumatic event of my mother’s passing and giving birth to my daughter within days. I was in a very dark place called a “grief induced post-partum depression.” For me simply being in that state was the worst possible scenario, so I finally managed to shift out of it (with much support in many areas) to a place of turning all of my negative life experiences into positive ones.

In my 40’s I was diagnosed with breast cancer and that was definitely a game changer for me because I was consciously aware at that time and the thoughts and emotions kept flowing around my mortality, around where my life was going, around my career, my relationship and my children. I remember thinking at that time also: “What is the worst possible thing that could happen?” The answer there was that I could not control this diagnosis and that yes, the worst case scenario would be I could die. Being a religious person and one with a very deep connection to faith, I was willing to accept that if it was, but that didn’t stop me from thinking about what could be and what would be and that was the best possible scenario. So when I got passed the place of what the worst could be, I was able to get to what the best possible outcome could be and although it would be a painful and emotional experience, I could walk through what I had to face, get the care and treatment that I needed and then get back to managing my relationships, my career, the care of my children and of myself.

More recently I experienced this with a career change. After 30 years in one field, I decided to start two new businesses. My initial reaction was to immediately revert to safety and took a very well-paying job where someone else would employ me. This didn’t sit well in me for long in my gut and I decided to nix that choice and go with opening up both businesses. Again, I asked myself: “What’s the worst case scenario?” The answer was simple: “If I failed I could always go back to safe, but if I didn’t explore the fear the regret would be even worse!” So here’s the thing, by exploring the worst possible scenario came the birth of the best case scenario and what exists now for me, the opening and sustaining of both businesses and the flexibility to pursue my passion.

So you see, most of the time we go on automatic pilot and think the only thing that can happen is the worst possible scenario, when in reality that is so far from the truth because we have so many options open and available to us.

Even if we do have to face the “worst possible scenario” we can do it in a place where we live in the moment and we make choices on how we want to move forward. I am seeing it via a colleague who is facing a “worst case scenario” in terms of an illness that is very real and she still walks and lives in a space of her best possible scenario every day. I have to say I am truly amazed and inspired and so happy to know her and be taught by her. We are forever all teachers and students and we were put on this earth to explore and make choices. 


Gina Costa, CPC, ELI-MP is the founder of New Beginnings Coaching Services, LLC, which helps women diagnosed with breast cancer cope, step by step, with the emotional and physical challenges they experience, so they gain confidence and feel in control of their life again. To learn more about Gina and her coaching practice, visit http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com/

Source: http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com

The Number One Killer Of Dreams

What is the number one killer of dreams?

... Insecurity? 

... Laziness? 

... Lack of drive? 

All of those things can  contribute to us not getting what we want out of life.  But in my opinion, the biggest factor keeping us from pursuing our dreams is a simple 4-letter word....fear.

Fear attacks us from all sides. We’re afraid to fail, afraid to not do “what’s expected of us”, afraid of looking bad, afraid to succeed! We’re afraid of losing money, prestige, standing in the community. Afraid of what “they” will think of us.

So we ignore our inner voice. We stuff down the yearning inside of us. We play it safe. We stay in our lane. And life goes on… and on… and on.

And sometimes, most of the time, things work out ok.  And that’s fine. Except for that nagging voice that always wonders “what if”.  What if I had gone for that promotion, moved to another city or country, found the courage to leave a bad relationship or a job I detest instead of settling for “it’s better than nothing”?

But sometimes the nagging sensation eats at us, and we slowly over time realize that “there’s got to be more to life than this”. Yet we allow our fear to keep us trapped in that smaller, safer place. And we become miserable. And we may in turn make the other people in our lives miserable too.

Here’s the thing.

I’m on a mission y’all.  I want to inspire and support people to push past their fear and say “yes” to themselves. I know what it’s like to say “no” to my inner voice, who quietly prodded me to try something new. And I shut her down… QUICKLY (in 30 seconds flat - to be specific).  

And now I also know what it’s like to say “yes” to myself and pursue my gift.  No I’m not a millionaire, and this is still a “side gig” for me.  But let me tell you… I’m having a BALL!  If you’ve listened to my radio show or been to one of my workshops, I’m sure it’s pretty evident.  And THIS feeling is what I feel called to help others achieve.  Because at the end of the day, we only get one crack at this thing called life.  And I’m determined to squeeze every drop out of it. 

Take a few minutes to ponder this…

We’ve got a little more than 90 days left in 2014.  What are you going to do with the rest of it?

Try this exercise for me.  Are you game?  OK… Here we go.

Sit comfortably for 5 minutes and ponder these questions. If you want, write about it. Or just think. If now is not a good time, print this out and come back to it. Trust me – it’s worth it. 

1.   What do I want that I haven’t allowed myself to consider – for whatever practical reason (or out of fear)?

2.    What would change if I allowed myself to consider the POSSIBILITY of pursuing this thing?

3.    How do I feel right now even thinking about this?

4.    What ONE thing can I do that is within my power, time and resources, to make a positive impact in my life before 2014 ends?

What came up for you? Did that feel exciting or SCARY? Empowering? If you came up with something positive to do before 2014, I implore you to follow through on it – no matter how big or small.  Because here’s the bottom line.  Life ticks by… moment by moment… day by day... And we look up and it’s 10 years later.  Carpe Diem my friend! Seize this moment.  Who knows where this one decision will take you!

Today I’m not selling anything. I just want to encourage you to think more about what’s possible in your life. And if this message encouraged you or caused even a tiny shift, I’d love to hear about it.  If you know someone who would benefit from this message, please forward it on. 

Pay it forward! 


Trina Ramsey is a career and life coach, specializing in personal transformation and career transition. With 20 years of experience in business and management, Trina is a "people person" and a change agent. Trina started her business, Perspectives Plus Coaching in 2009 after spending 15 years as a nonprofit fundraiser and experience running her own interior decorating business.

For more on Trina visit trinaramsey.com. @PerspectivePlus or https://www.facebook.com/CareerTalkWithCoachTrina

Source: www.trinaramsey.com

It's Time To Get On With It.

It’s time. Now’s the time. Not tomorrow. Not next week. NOW. It’s February. The confetti has fallen. The dust has settled, and whatever goals or resolutions we've& made for the New Year – either we are pursuing them, or we’re NOT. So how’s it going for you? Are you excited about the direction 2014 is taking? Kudos to you if you are taking action to pursue your goals this year! 

But this message is to those of us who are NOT moving forward.

I hope it encourages you.

What’s going on in your life? Are you…

…overwhelmed? Are you too busy – pulled in too many directions to really focus on your future? It’s hard to move forward if you are stuck on the treadmill, feeling like you are going nowhere.

… in a rut? Do you have a case of the “why bother’s”?  Have you told yourself that things can’t change, so why waste the effort? Or worse – is someone else in your ear telling you that you won’t succeed?

… in pain? Are you recovering from a letdown or loss of some sort, and it’s stopping you from feeling the excitement and positive outlook you once held for life?

… scared? Fear is the #1 dream killer. We worry about making the right choice, about failing, about looking bad. What fears are keeping you from taking action?

Whatever is keeping you from moving forward, I encourage you to shake it off and find a way to take at least ONE STEP toward your ideal future.   

Here are a few tips: 

Too busy? It is absolutely essential for you to carve out some time for yourself.  Even if it’s 10 minutes of quiet during the day, or a 30 minute walk. If you are racing from one thing to the next, you don’t have time or energy to devote creating something new. Remember, before you're able to build something new, you must first create it in your mind. Try to find one hour for yourself THIS WEEK. Do something that’s important to YOU. Or spend time on something fun - like relaxing, listening to music, reading a book, or exercise. 

·         Feeling stuck? If you are lacking the motivation to move forward, it’s hard to make positive changes in your life. Try to build time into your schedule for things that you enjoy – that feed your spirit. Have fun. Relax more. Spend time with friends and family. Once your spirit is replenished you may be more energized and optimistic – and more capable to take on a new adventure.

·         Suffering?  Any loss is damaging to the spirit. It’s important to allow yourself to go through the grieving process, so that you can begin to heal and then move on to bigger and better things. The sun will shine again. Surround yourself with positive people to help you get through this period.

·         Afraid?  There is simply no way around the fact that in order to conquer your fears, you must face them head on. Arm yourself and just go for it. Answer this question: What’s the worst that could happen? Put on your big boy or girl pants and then GO FOR IT!

Here’s the bottom line:  life progresses minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.  We can move with it or we can stay where we are.  It’s tragic when people stay on auto-pilot, or live their lives governed by priorities other than their own, only to look up 5 or 10 years later, wondering where the time went.  LIVE WITH URGENCY.  For today is really all we have. Make the most of it! 


Trina Ramsey is a career and life coach, and founder of Perspectives Plus Coaching.  She encourages her clients to pursue career goals that are in line with their spirit – to push past fear and insecurities to make their dreams a reality. Visit her online at www.trinaramsey.com