3 essentials for a successful workout (career workout, that is)

Last year, I made a decision to workout with a trainer.  It was a long time coming.  Let’s be honest - I’ve tried every type of workout scheme known to man and can’t seem to keep a consistent routine.  

I start out strong and then other things take priority ...

the kids, laundry, chocolate … This time was going to be different.  

I bought new sneakers, cute exercise clothes and researched trainers.  I selected one that had a great personality and seemed in tune with my personal goals.  

At the end of three months, I was a beast.  My arms looked like something out of one of those superhero movies, my legs were defined and I could do 300 sit-ups without breaking a sweat.  But I didn’t start here … they call it a workout for a reason … it’s WORK!

I practiced six days a week, whether it was weight lifting, cardio or yoga.  Every day I was building muscle and gaining strength.  If I hadn’t kept up the work, I would have gone right back to where I started - out of shape.

I realized that my success was dependent upon my willingness to practice, practice, practice.

How about your corporate workout?  Just like a physical workout, your corporate workout should include strength training and plenty of practice.  

While your physical workout leads to more energy, toned muscles and overall strength, your corporate workout can lead to confidence, self awareness and success.  Why wouldn’t you want to get started today?!

Three muscles to flex in your corporate workout

1.                How to flex your public speaking muscles

  • Actively seek out opportunities to practice and grow your public speaking skills.  
  • Check out your local Toastmaster group (www.toastmasters.org) or speakers bureau.
  • Find people who do it well - and copy them!  Julian Treasure is one of my favorite TedTalks around how to speak so that people want to listen (http://bit.ly/1vOD73z).

2.                How to flex your networking muscles

  • Join an industry association.  If you’re not sure, check with your colleagues about the groups they attend and ask if you can attend as a visitor before joining.
  • If you’re already a member of a club or association … GO TO THE MEETINGS!!  Don’t sit in the back and leave the minute the gavel hits the podium.
  • Create a goal to introduce yourself to one or two new people each week.  (If you work in a small office, this could be tough, but give it a try).  

3.                How to flex your writing muscles

  • Journal every day.  Make it a point to write for 5 minutes each day (come on, you can do it!).  If you’re not sure what to write about, try this free ebook to get the ideas flowing - A Year of Blogging and Journaling Ideas by Cynthia Louden.
  • Start a blog.  Many websites provide a free option that allows you to try before you buy (www.wordpress.com).  I use Google’s Blogger (www.blogger.com) that easily links to my website.  Don’t think you have anything to say?  Simply write about things you know - food, exercise or relationships.
  • Write a fairy tale.  If none of these other options appeal to you and all else fails, write a whimsical story with yourself as the hero / heroine.

By training and strengthening your corporate body AND mind, you’ll become a force to be reckoned with!  You’ll develop skills that will create confidence, demonstrate leadership and your ability to stretch (pardon the pun) outside of your comfort zone.


Kim Black is a Certified Professional Coach that focuses on career advancement and life coaching for women.  She has more than 20 years of corporate experience and is passionate about helping her clients build their skills, achieve their goals and celebrate their successes.  She is the author of "Navigating the Corporate Jungle with Kim Black" and hosts a radio show on the Life Coach Radio Network.

Website:  www.kimblackcoaching.com

Facebook:  www.facebook.com/coachkimblack

Twitter:  @coachkimblack

Jump In & Move Beyond Good Enough

“Jump in OB. The water’s great,” they shouted up to me from the quarry.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be there in a minute,” I shouted back.

But secretly I was thinking: Umm, there’s no way I am jumping in that quarry. My little buddy, Fear, and I will just hang out and watch everyone else have a great time.

Sitting on the edge watching everyone else leap forward is good enough.

That was the scene about 15 years ago during the Tyler Place Resort Mountain-Bike Ride, the capstone to our family vacation. Each Friday at Tyler Place, guests head out for a mountain-bike ride through Vermont’s single track, which hugs Lake Champlain. It’s great fun.

And the piece de resistance of the ride is throwing caution to the wind and jumping into the quarry. It’s a 34-foot drop (see video) from the edge to the water below.

The easy part, at least for me, was the mountain-bike ride. The jump? Not so much. 

I’m a strong believer of Sheryl Sandberg’s lean in message. I love it because as a business leadership coach and motivational speaker, I witness many people who  just sit on the sidelines and settle for good enough rather than choosing to lean in and take action. 

The truth is, sometimes, to really breakthrough to the next level of success, you need to jump in with both feet.

I was doing plenty of leaning in at the quarry. I would gingerly walk to the edge, look down, gulp, and scurry back. I did this about three times until I finally asked myself: What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

The answer: I would jump in.

In that moment, I knew I had a choice. I could listen to my little buddy Fear, or I could leap forward into the unknown and jump in. 

I ended up jumping in four times that day.

That literal leap of faith gave me the confidence I needed to make the decision to jump from executive leadership to starting my own coaching and consulting firm.

As I was making my decision on my career jump, my reliable little buddy Fear showed up again to harass me and stir up limiting beliefs.   

Michael, what if you can’t provide for your family?

What if you embarrass yourself?

What if you can’t run your own business?

Just like at the quarry, I had to take a leap of faith. Neither leap was easy. But, I realized I had a choice: I could let Fear drive my decision or I could trust my talents, instincts, and enthusiasm and jump in. 

And again, I jumped.

I’m so thankful I did.

Whether you’re jumping into a quarry, voicing your opinion, changing careers, or going for that big promotion, Fear has a way of making you doubt yourself. It does everything it can to hold you back.  

Your job is to name the Fear and jump in in spite of it.

So, let me ask you: What would you do if you weren’t afraid? 

How would your work be different? 

Are you tired of settling for “good enough?” 

If you answered yes, that’s terrific because you know that good enough isn’t really good enough if you want to maximize success in your career and life.   

If you are looking for a partner who can help you move beyond good enough, I encourage you to contact me today. Reference this blog post, in our call, and I’ll give you a special offer to help you leverage your belief system and maximize your career and life.  

Go ahead. What are you waiting for?  Jump in. The water is great. 


In his coaching practice, Peloton Coaching & Consulting, Michael O'Brien partners with today's business leaders to help them move from functional performance to optimal performance. His aim is to change lives by enhancing leadership energy, engagement, and fulfillment, and demonstrating how these qualities can cascade throughout organizations. To Learn more about Michael and Peloton Coaching & Consulting, visit www.pelotoncc.net.

Source: www.pelotoncc.net

"Put Away the Milk, Please” – The Importance of the Basics in Growing Your Business

I’ve taken plenty of workshops and training classes, but some of the best lessons I’ve learned are from my family and home life.

Today I’m sharing two of my favorites:  

“Put Away the Milk, Please” – The Importance of the Basics

When my youngest daughter was 4, she became self-sufficient when it came to making breakfast. Every morning, she’d get out the cereal box, the orange juice, and the milk.

Like most 4 year olds, she was great at getting things out; however, putting them back was not one of her strong suits.

The cereal and orange juice were easily forgiven. But the milk—oh, the milk. That was a different story. 

My favorite post-workout treat is a glass of cold chocolate milk. As an avid cyclist, I’ve used it as my post-workout recovery drink long before it was considered a “recovery drink.”

In the mornings, after I returned from my ride, I did some stretches, and pretended to do some core exercises as my thoughts drifted towards my anticipated glass of cold chocolate milk.

But, when my daughter forgot to return the milk to the refrigerator…Yep, you got it, the milk would be luke-warm.

Have you ever tried drinking luke-warm milk after a workout?

Not so great.

So, instead of downing my favorite treat, I would have to pause to patiently remind her of the importance of putting things away, especially the milk. After a while she got it, and order was restored in the world—at least where chocolate milk was concerned.

There’s a lesson in there for all of us. Regardless of whether you are a leader or individual contributor, your organization counts on you to “put away the milk.” It’s a basic responsibility. 

When the basics are done well, you have time for other meaningful work like selling your vision, evaluating your strategy, strengthening your culture, and developing your people.  

So, how much time do you spend asking others “to put away the milk?” What’s it costing you and your organization?

Take it Upstairs - A Leader at Work and Home

In my home, anytime something needs to go up to the 2nd floor, my wife and I place it on the stairs. There’s no email, no vmail, no memo attached; it’s simply understood that if something is on the stairs, it needs to go up.

When our kids were young, we were pleasantly surprised when they took the initiative to carry something upstairs. It was unexpected, and clearly one of those “we-got-this-parenting-thing-down” moments, and it balanced out some of our “milk challenges.”

As the other adult in the house, it was expected that I’d carry things upstairs. When I did there were no gold stars, no perk-points, no attaboy-memos from the CEO. However, it was valued as it was a basic task that helped the household run smoothly.

Here’s the lesson: If you see something on the stairs, take it up. You may not have put it there, and it may not belong to you. That’s not the point.

Regardless of whether it’s a broken process or helping a short-staffed team, your job, as a leader, is to pitch in and help solve the problem. Don’t walk past it and declare it someone else’s job. When you take action, you send a powerful leadership message about the culture you wish to create.

The basics aren’t sexy. But the truth is, they never go out of style. 

So how much time do you spend on the reinforcing the basics? What are those constant reminders to fill out expense reports correctly, see the opportunities within the challenges, and behave like the competition is outside and not within costing you and your company? 

If you took time to add it up, it would probably be significant. It may be costing you stress, engagement, effectiveness, efficiency, and, most likely, top and bottom-line maximization.  For a moment, imagine what would be possible if the basics were second nature, the milk was always put away and things were matter-of-factly taken upstairs.

If you are interested in sharing a glass of chocolate milk, I’m game. Just contact me at Michael@pelotoncc.net


In his coaching practice, Peloton Coaching & Consulting, Michael O'Brien partners with today's business leaders to help them move from functional performance to optimal performance. His aim is to change lives by enhancing leadership energy, engagement, and fulfillment, and demonstrating how these qualities can cascade throughout organizations. To Learn more about Michael and Peloton Coaching & Consulting, visit www.pelotoncc.net.


Source: www.pelotoncc.net

Please Don’t Speak For Me, Sheryl

I almost lost my mind while watching a brief clip of an interview Arianna Huffington did with Sheryl Sandberg...Then, subsequently read her New York Times piece entitled, “Speaking While Female.”... Like, I may have yelled at my computer screen in reaction to the content. In the clip and referenced article, which was embedded in a Huffington Post piece entitled, “Sheryl Sandberg: ‘It’s Still Hard to Speak In a Professional Setting As a Woman,” what I heard her say was, in order for women to feel more comfortable speaking up in Corporate America, everyone OTHER THAN WOMEN has to change. And, since the message I heard is perpetuating the notion that we, as women, are (still) victims, I would like to ask that you, Sheryl, please not speak for me. I don’t feel like a victim. I have never felt like a victim (except for when I actually was one, growing up in my crazy, dysfunctional home.) I was never scared to speak in meetings and never felt ignored. That’s not to say I haven’t been ignored, I just don’t think I took it personally and probably spoke up about it because I think it’s rude.

This is what you said that made me go a little bit crazy...

”Even with all the progress we’ve made, it’s still really hard to speak in a professional setting as a woman. Women face real barriers….As human beings, we are incredibly sensitive to people’s reactions. If you watch someone say something, you see how the person reacts...the person who’s speaking reacts. And, as women, we kind of fall in one of two paths…..either we speak out aggressively and affirmatively and are results focused and then people often think, you know, she’s not nice. I don’t like her. She’s too aggressive. OR, we’re quiet and spoken over. We’re interrupted more, we take more notes in meetings, we sit in the back more and that’s really hurting women’s ability to get to leadership.” And, then she goes on to ask that people start calling on women first “Obamastyle” (as he did when he only called on female reporters in his most recent press conference) so that women get to speak.

For reference, here are the links to the Huffington Post interview and NY Times articles:

HuffPo clip: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/23/sheryl-sandberg-davos_n_6506188.html

NY Times piece: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/opinion/sunday/speaking-while-female.html

First let me say that, as much as I love Obama, what he did by calling, only on women, was an incredibly calculated, yet effective, PR move. I mean, it created the phrase, “Obamastyle,” for you to use to support your argument. Next, I’d like to ask...

  • Are ‘we’ as human beings all really incredibly sensitive to people’s reactions?
  • If ‘we’ are, why is it so and, what does it cost us as human beings? Maybe just some of us are somewhat sensitive and some, not at all?
  • Could ‘we’ ever include men?
  • Do ‘we’ really only fall into only two paths? Either aggressive or quiet?....That’s it?

Maybe there are some other options?

I believe the message is antiquated and not addressing the real problem at hand, which is a matter of confidence and authenticity…. period. I also believe confidence and authenticity or, the lack there of, is gender neutral.

Confidence and authenticity come from within. Both come with self-examination, self-awareness and self-acceptance. Both come from allowing ourselves to be who we are, not who we THINK we should be. Faking it, overcompensating or throwing in the towel if they are lacking, are unfortunate alternatives and glaringly obvious...even on an unconscious level.

Instead of perpetuating the notion that women are being victimized, how about offering a solution to help them help themselves? Why not have a dialogue about this, and not state it’s everyone else’s problem to fix? So, instead of speaking FOR women in a way that makes them seem like damsels in distress, why not ask: 

  • Why do some women feel this way?
  • Why use the word aggressive, not assertive?
  • Do you, Sheryl, feel uncomfortable when you speak up?
  • Did you once, but don’t anymore? And, if not, what changed? This could be helpful for women to know.
  • What are ALL of the variables that exist in these male/female scenarios? Is it not possible that, as with some men, not all questions or talking points made by all women are good points? For example, some people speak up in groups because they want attention, not because they have something relevant to say. Women AND men.
  • Why is being “liked” even an issue? It’s not for most men. (Remember that line from A League of Their Own about no crying in baseball?)
  • Is it possible that women’s feelings of self-consciousness come across when they speak up, thus making them less engaging? This must also happen when men speak too, no?
  • Do women feel the need to overcompensate for their lack of confidence by being aggressive? Is it like the 2015 equivalent to wearing shoulder pads, as women did in the 80s to appear, in physique, more like men?

And, with regard to all of these rude men…

  • Would it not be beneficial to ask them why they think it’s ok to speak over a woman when she starts to speak? There could be an overcompensation (confidence issue) there too.

In your book, you asked women to lean in. Did you ask women to ask themselves why they don’t? In your NY Times piece, you cited studies that support your argument but, what about studies on the importance and effectiveness of confidence?

I am entirely for equality, across the board, and for getting rid of discrimination. I absolutely believe that the equal pay issue needs to be resolved. However, I don’t think attaching women’s feelings of inadequacies and self-judgment helps this issue. In fact, I believe it is harmful in that it promotes the idea that it is not in our (women’s) power to help ourselves. Everyone is scared of something. Everyone struggles with limiting beliefs about themselves and life in general. Why not figure out a way to bring these internal struggles to light? Don’t just lean in, start to work from within.


Danielle Gibson works with people who want to "speak up." That is, they want to have the ability to be more direct/straight forward. She believes confidence, authenticity, good communication skills and paying attention to one's intuition are essential components. And, they serve as some important focal points in her coaching practice. To contact Danielle, please email: danielle.gibson@gmail.com

International Youth Development - Self Confidence & Belief

Rod’s client was 13. He had been adopted in Ethiopia and moved to Albania and Macedonia when his father’s work changed. Being the only person of African origin in either country made him highly visible and prone to attention. Alex struggled with his identity – who he was and where he was from.

Coming to terms with life outside of Ethiopia and in cultures very different became a major challenge for him. Between languages, cultural and educational differences Alex felt great pressure to fit in as well as finding himself. There was a time when it looked like he would be unable to do either. 

Objective 

Rod's objectives were to increase his young client's self confidence and belief. To reconnect him with his identity whilst embracing his passion for performing arts and music, putting him on track for a successful and fulfilling life.  

Action 

Rod's first challenge was to get his clients' respect. After he'd achieved this he took his client through a number of NLP exercises to help him explore and connect to who he was and what was important to him. 

As his clients confidence started to grow Rod changed his coaching to focus on helping his client develop a number of success strategies to survive and thrive in different cultures. This let to coaching his client in how to model effective performing arts strategies. 

Results

The results were evident immediately. No longer the ‘odd man out’, Alex had become the centre of attention and a social magnet. Rather than seeing himself as second or third class he projected a confident and first class image which others reflected back to him. In a matter of weeks which led to months his client experimented with different things.

He went on bungee jumps, para sailing and glider pilot lessons. In short he expanded his own beliefs and started to live his life to the full. 

And so

Two years later Alex has created music DVD’s been on multiple television programs around Albania, Macedonia, Kosovo, Italy, Canada and many others. His videos record 120,000 + views and he is now studying in college performing arts and creative dance. His has a plan for his future and carrying out steps towards achieving it on a daily basis. 


For more than 30 years, Rod Beau has been an internationally sought-after education and management consultant and keynote speaker. His practical, real-world business experience and career have been in educational leadership, relocation consulting and executive and leadership coaching. As a Senior Consultant and Master Executive Coach, Rod is also an Accredited ANLP Trainer - specializing in Executive and Leadership Coaching. To learn more about Rod Beau, please visit www.sherpanlp.com

Source: http://www.sherpanlp.com/

Smart Career Women Can Have Sustainable Relationships

Hitting the five zero a few years back was overshadowed by a hectic work schedule which left little time for celebration. If I’m brutally honest though, with 2 marriages and single motherhood on my resume, it felt more like my life was in desperate need of an overhaul to break this unhealthy cycle. How could I get on the path to achieve real and sustained happiness in my personal relationships? 

The reality is, unfortunately, that I am just one of thousands in this situation across America. We grew up in households with parents who were ill-equipped to teach us how to form relationships and what our roles should be; they themselves muddled through with limited input from their own parents. This has resulted in a generation of co-dependent women who seem to attract imbalanced relationships, without the means or skills to dig themselves out of this dilemma.

What is really going on? 

Today’s intelligent and business-savvy women are high in “book smarts” which overcompensates for their lack of EQ (emotional intelligence quotient). In literal terms, their hearts become a magnet for the wrong type of relationship.

Michael Noer created a furor back in 2006 with his article in Forbes Magazine which suggested that men should not consider career women as marriage material. His rationale came from studies which concluded that professional women had a higher propensity to cheat and/or get divorced, and were less likely to want children. This theory was further fuelled by the American Journal of Marriage and Family, whose studies demonstrated a higher divorce risk where wives were the main bread winners. 

There is a wealth of evidence which supports the notion that successful women are incapable of sustaining meaningful relationships for a variety of reasons; these include being too controlling, lack of tolerance for a less successful partner, and the resentment from their partners for their financial success. Surely this then begs the question why is this happening and how can we stop it? 

Pride comes before a fall 

Dr. Robert Holden, author of Success Intelligence, is at the cutting edge of psychological relationship research and offers the following explanation: "To have a successful relationship, you have to have a developed EQ which is emotional empathy and a respect for each other's feelings. Women are often so headstrong that they override what their heart is feeling. Without the engagement of the head and the heart, relationships are not a safe place to be, but the smart woman is headstrong enough to tell herself that she will be able to make this work." Women have become embarrassed to admit that they take the lead in their relationships, and subsequently how this power and control has caused major damage to their relationships.  

In other words, we fall at the first hurdle because we’ve been conditioned to bypass our intuition and it gets us into trouble.  Case in point, my intuition ringing warning bells that landed me in ER for a severe panic attack before my wedding ten years ago to my second ex, only to realize with clarity that I had married the wrong man.  At the time, I kind of knew that the marriage was doomed but convinced myself that with our religious upbringings, "I" could make it work. 

How to change your Modus Operandi 

What energy vibe are you leading with when you meet a guy? 

* Do you find the signals you give are at complete odds to what you are feeling?

* I don't want you to meet my children?

* I'm seeing other men so I don't want you to get too close?

* I'm a financially self-sufficient woman who has her kids, career and only needs a man for sex? 

These vibes can be incredibly emasculating. When men respond by being detached, our emotional side kicks in and we wonder - why isn't he falling in love with me?

Let's be honest, most of us sensible girls aren’t very happy. Often we are the real victims because we just accept that any romantic situation is OK, when in reality it's not.  We have gotten used to wearing this very confident façade which is really to disguise our fear of not being in control and lack of self-acceptance. Intimacy involves a higher potential for rejection and the risk of being hurt and dealing with painful and scary situations. So, we become relationship jumpers because "there was no love there and he didn't stimulate me", "we rushed into it too quickly without knowing each other", or "he was my rebound guy". 

Getting to happy 

What advice can I give to successful career women who are often (secretly) unhappy and unsuccessful in love?   

·         Be willing to admit when you've got it wrong

·         Don't be too quick to lead with your body or looks

·         A sense of humor or succession of compliments is not a fair exchange for you or your money

·         Leave your dominance and competitiveness in the office

·         Don't love carelessly or unconsciously

·         Stop playing the victim role. Be open to embracing the joy of being a woman and having a rewarding career.

Finally, work on developing your EQ. Learn to have emotional strength that is about surrender, openness and a willingness to let go. This is absolutely essential because it determines the quality of your relationships with others. It is unreasonable and unhealthy to expect other people to love you more than you love yourself.

For too long, women like me and others have failed to recognize while building our careers that integrating the emotional and intuitive side of life is just as important. Whether you are in your 30s, 40s, or 50s, the time is now to educate our young women to wake up -- use your head and intuition. Test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, and not some sentimental gush. 

Ask for help 

Fast forward to the present day and we need to honestly evaluate whether Mike’s predictions were mere ramblings or an accurate sign of things to come. Look at your circle of strong sisters, are they in happy and healthy relationships or just applying an extra coat of lipstick and giving the impression that they are “in control”?

Why wait until your next breakup or your power and control triggers surface before making a change? If you hear another “it’s complicated” excuse from a friend, have the tough conversation and have her confront her fears. In order to have a healthy relationship, you must put in the necessary effort to change your attitude about what you are really looking for and prepared to give in return. If you’re feeling lost and really don’t know where to start, stay tuned for some practical steps to gain clarity on getting to happy.

In the meantime, feel free to get in touch with any relationship questions or concerns that you may have – debrah@just4mygirls.com

Debrah Mathis, PC, ELI-MP is a highly sought-after Business, Life and Career Coach in Dallas, TX. My mission is to develop individuals, couples & families with the tools & skills needed for better work-life integration in this new economy. Connect with her on LinkedIn, Follow @EngagetoSuccess, and LIKE Engage to Success Facebook Group page.


Source: www.EngagetoSuccess.com

Inspiring A Young Boxer

Situation

Rod's client was a 19 year old who had previously been a successful junior champion amateur boxer. However lately he had dropped out of college and been unable to get a job. He had turned himself from competition and local society by going into drinking and minor drug use. If he continued as he was he was heading to become unemployable as well as putting his health in danger.

Objective

Rod's objective was to help him reconnect him with his passion of competitive boxing, create a vision and take action to win senior boxing titles, and in doing so create a direction for his life. 

Actions

Rod's first action was to do what was necessary to build a relationship of mutual respect and trust. When he achieved this he took his client through a series of mental and physical exercises to reconnect to his inner purpose and strength. He then acted as a role model, mentor and guide to help his client restart  training and work on his diet and health.

He then taught his client to be his own coach, so Rod was able to reduce his sessions from weekly, to every two weeks and then once a month.

Results

The results were evident not only to his client but also his friends and family. Within a matter of weeks he was less dependent on alcohol and drugs, increasing self confidence, looking better and coming over better and fitter. He was training five out of seven days and getting himself ready for a series of fights.

And so

Two years later James has become successful boxer – no longer dependent on alcohol and drugs, he has a healthy diet, healthy body, and trains every day. He is now winning his fights at local, regional and international level. His self confidence has increased dramatically. He has secured a part time job at Tesco which allows him the time to train for boxing. 


For more than 30 years, Rod Beau has been an internationally sought-after education and management consultant and keynote speaker. His practical, real-world business experience and career have been in educational leadership, relocation consulting and executive and leadership coaching. As a Senior Consultant and Master Executive Coach, Rod is also an Accredited ANLP Trainer - specializing in Executive and Leadership Coaching. To learn more about Rod Beau, please visit www.sherpanlp.com

Source: www.sherpanlp.com

6 Sure-Fire Career Boosters

I chose the niche of career coaching because I am passionate about helping people find a path that is rewarding, fun and lucrative. My commitment stems from personal experience. My career path was forged by taking risks, following my heart, and not being afraid to color outside the lines.  I have a degree in information systems, and have worked as an interior decorator, a nonprofit fundraiser, and now a career and life coach.  I know a bit about demanding bosses, getting promoted, and knowing when to leave – including reinventing myself more than once.  This is why I am focusing more of my energy on helping others navigate the sometimes challenging waters of the workplace and exploring “what’s next” – including entrepreneurship.  Critical to all of this is knowing how to listen to your inner voice, and trusting yourself.

First, let’s work on gaining some forward momentum – no matter what your path: 

1.    Get out of neutral.  Sometimes we’ve stayed too long at our current workplace, and it shows. The excitement is gone, and we are doing that dreaded countdown from Monday through Friday.  If (and ONLY if) you value your workplace, and are invested in staying there, make a conscious decision to “bloom where you’re planted”.  Actively engage your manager about ways to improve your job performance, learn a new skill or take on more responsibility. Speak up in meetings.

2.    Learn how to self-promote (without being obnoxious).  There is some truth to the adage “nice guys/girls finish last”.  The workplace is nothing if not competitive. And unfortunately just “doing a good job” will not necessarily get you noticed or promoted.  It may make you a valuable member of the team. You’ll be known for being dependable and reliable – but perhaps taken for granted.  Learn how to toot your own horn. Make suggestions and share good ideas. Become your own PR agent.

3.    Dress for success.  Appearances DO matter. If you come to work wrinkled and disheveled, people may not take you as seriously. It is sometimes said that you should dress the part of your next job. In my opinion, it’s not a bad policy. Take yourself seriously, and others will too.  You don't have to spend thousands on a designer wardrobe. But a nice quality suit with a variety of tops or shirt and tie combos can go a long way.  If your workplace is not so formal, you can buy some strategic pieces to mix and match without breaking the budget.

4.    Get a mentor. We are all connected, and it’s important to seek guidance from people who’ve been there.  A mentor can help you navigate the tough spots and develop strategies for advancement. S/he can be an invaluable resource for networking and job search.  Think about an expert in your field with whom you can cultivate a closer relationship.  It can be someone you know already, or you can pick someone who you’d like to learn from and reach out to him or her.

5.    Know when it’s time to go. Sometimes it’s just TIME TO GO. Period. There may have been a leadership or political sea change at your workplace, or you are dealing with a difficult boss who is either intimidated by you, a micro-manager, or who just doesn’t like you for some reason or other.  Or, as I mentioned before, you are just not into it anymore. Maybe you’ve hit a ceiling and there is no room for advancement.  And of course, there is the option of entrepreneurship. Do you have a window of opportunity to follow your dream and hang out your own shingle? Be sure you have a good strategy for a strong start, but if you’re ready, go for it!

6.    Take risks. Nobody got anywhere playing it safe.  Well that’s not entirely true.  People who play it safe are able to hold on to jobs for a very long time – and that’s great. If you want to be promoted, advance, lead, or make more money – it may not be the best strategy.  Be willing to speak your mind, to disagree with your boss, to suggest a new idea that might help your organization succeed.  If a position opens up at your workplace (or elsewhere) that you’re interested in, go for it.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained! 

 As always, here’s to you – and to your truth. My prayer  for you is a fun, balanced and fulfilling life. 

Until next time… Trina  


Trina Ramsey is a career and life coach, specializing in personal transformation and career transition. With 20 years of experience in business and management, Trina is a "people person" and a change agent. Trina started her business, Perspectives Plus Coaching in 2009 after spending 15 years as a nonprofit fundraiser and experience running her own interior decorating business. For more on Trina visit trinaramsey.com. @PerspectivePlus  or https://www.facebook.com/CareerTalkWithCoachTrina

Tune into Success ~ Tune into Resilience!

Have you ever had a friend or relative who, no matter how many times they fell down, scraped their knee or faced some unexpected hardship, they got back up again with a focused positive attitude.   You know, those people who after a long day they still have a great smile on their face, ready to take on any new challenge that comes their way!  They always seem to see the glass as half full.  When situations occur that get others mad or depressed, they’re energy is bubbly!  Amazing isn’t it?   What planet are they from anyway???

In the proverbial search for the meaning of life, the question is asked over and over again:  What is it that we all want out of life?  Some say it’s success, however if so many are struggling, just to get by, can we even tune into the thought?  “Do I believe I am capable”  Those voices are always standing by, ready to resolve to defeat.

Enter into the picture, a second person who’s extremely quiet and shy.  Someone with very little confidence and a very small circle of friends.  We observe this person socializes with comfort food as a crutch to drown his mood and goes through each day with little direction much less any focused energy on a target or long-term goals. 

Take a few minutes to conjure up in your mind, the image of these two very different people.  You probably know a number of people who fit into the positive achiever mode as well as people go through life with a down, why does this always happen to me, energy.  It’s always fascinating when you meet two people from the same family, who are total opposites. What’s the driving force that drives these two diverse personalities?

The studies of Bruce Lipton, PhD, in “biology of belief” and “the wisdom of our cells” enlighten us to the understanding of our conscious mind and the far more powerful sub-conscious mind which is runs our immune system, nervous system, respiratory, keeps our heart beating, and is the core to our belief system.  We can actually change our DNA with our thoughts.  Lipton’s studies show how our subconscious programming is all established in the first six years of our lives.  Every aspect of our environment establishes our core beliefs.  We grow up nourished, knowing we can do anything our mind sets out to do or we grow up skeptical, always the “devils advocate”.  Dr. Lipton would say this is the sub conscience tuning into all possibilities.  If we weren’t so fortunate to grow up surrounded with a loving energy with support and positive feedback, we can work on re-programming our internal tape to see if we can overcome feelings of self doubt.

A women looses her mother in her teenage years, she is lost, rebelling, and it appears no one seems to understand her.  She is sent away to college to find herself, maybe meet new friends.  With a depressed nature she succumbs to peer pressure, and spirals into a drug addiction.   Was there a resilient foundation in place before her mothers death?

Another women discovers she has cancer, she is told it is a very aggressive cancer and she will have to fight hard for her life.  Without skipping a beat she takes control with ease and a beautiful smile.  It is tiring at times but her friends, (her support system) are by her side.  She discovers she is stronger then she knew herself to be.  She lives.

Two friends are chatting about their diets.  The first one says, “I wish someday I could be healthy and feel great.”  The second one says, “I intend to be healthy and feel great.”

Which one do you think is going to get healthy and feel great?  Yep ~ the one who intends it. 

Can we all have support, positive intentions and beliefs?

Yes we can.  Two keys to intention in business and health is support and action – Taking action no matter who stands in your way, negative nelly or those voices in your head. 

Did you know that you can even set an intention to have a great day?

Rather than diving into your morning and hoping you’ll achieve your day’s big goal, why not take a moment and tune yourself up for success?  You can Have a Great Day… Every Day!

You can start with healthy food choices such as a variety of organic fruits, nuts and veggies.  One can’t have a healthy “in tune brain” without a “healthy gut”.  Can you tune into your gut feelings?

  • Think about your desired outcome. Take a deep breath and visualize yourself succeeding.
  • Replay your success several times in your mind.
  • Next, add other senses, including sounds, smells, taste and touch. All these affect our inner energy. For instance, if you listen to crap radio, that sound can interfere with intention and focus.
  • As you replay your success tape, you now also hear the director offering you the gig, or you feel the physical sensation of your finger hitting the “send” button on your latest assignment.
  • Lastly, replay the scene again, adding emotions.  Feel your elation at getting to your desired weight or your pride at finally finishing your project.

So how can you build your intention muscle? 

  1. Get clear on what you want, what you believe in and what you desire.
  2. Resolve- to find an answer or solution to the roadblocks of your life.
  3. Do something to make your desire happen.
  4. Do you intend to lose weight, eat healthy, and feel fantastic?  Make a plan to tune into success, resilience and health by getting the support you need!
  5. Remember to Nourish-because nourishing thoughts, foods and behavior makes that spoon full of medicine go down much easier. Having a nourishing lifestyle means you can make the choice to have a solid belief system, lean toward a healthy glow, feed your body with organic foods, share a genuine smile, attain peace and serenity.

Along our journey, there will be challenges as the road is never perfect.  The strength and resolve of our belief system, anchored in a total commitment to do what ever it takes, is the difference between reaching our intended goal, or giving up.  What is your intention today?

Connie Rogers is a Certified Integrated Health Coach. She supports her clients on their way to true health. Make a plan to tune into success at www.bitesizepieces.net

For more tips on how to use resilience to tune in to success, please join co-hosts Connie Rogers, (www.bitesizepieces.net), Filomena A. Iorio-Tasoluk (www.bounce-life.com), and Veronica Taylor (www.lifeleaderscoaching.com) on Monday, February 3, 2014 at 7pm/est on Life Coach Radio Network:  HOW RESILIENCE CAN HELP YOU ACHIEVE SUSTAINABLE SUCCESS!

 

What To Do When Your Own Worst Enemy Is You

 A year or so ago, I went to a friend’s 50th birthday party. This is someone I have known for over a decade and who I consider myself relatively close to.

I have been to parties he has thrown before, and they are generally your typical cocktail party where the guests stand around eating, drinking and socializing. So it was a great shock to me on this occasion when my friend announced he had rented a karaoke machine and wanted everyone to perform at some point.

This was a side of my friend that I had never seen in all the years I had known him. And at this event, one that he threw for himself to celebrate himself, I learned two important things about him. The first is that he has a terrible voice and that I will never be hiring him to sing at an event I am throwing. The second, and more important by far, was that he had the ability to throw caution to the wind and simply enjoy the activity without the worry of what people might think of him.

I refused to perform that day no matter how many times he asked me, but still, I instinctively knew I needed to be open to the idea letting go of some of my inhibitions. I left that party in awe of my friend and vowed that I would work on developing a little of that carefree attitude for myself.

The funny thing is, for someone who gets very nervous about making a fool of himself, my long term career goal is to become a public speaker in my field of coaching. I want to give presentations, be invited to be part of discussion panels, facilitate workshops and the likes.

I have some experience talking in front of people and as long as I feel perfectly comfortable with my subject matter, I do fairly well. But one thing I realize is that I will never get really good until I can let go of my self-consciousness.

Entering into my coach training program has really pushed me to the edge of my comfort zone in this area. For one of my class projects, I chose to give a presentation in front of my peers. And although it went relatively well, I really survived it by going into this sort of out of body experience; one where I found myself almost completely disconnected to what was going on. When I finished the presentation, I found myself needing to come back to reality. My classmates were saying really nice things to me, but I wasn’t really present to take them in.

A little over a year ago one of my fellow coaching students, and someone I am proud to call my friend, launched the Life Coach Radio Networks and asked me participate. I have certainly never done radio before, but I knew that if I wanted to become a public speaker, I needed to pursue every avenue presented to me that gave me the chance to speak publically. And thankfully the radio show has given me this one avenue.

After doing my very first show, my instinct was to avoid listening to myself. I have never liked the sound of my own voice and really resisted the idea of forcing myself to do it now. But after a couple of more times on air, I decided that the only way I was going to get better was to listen for areas that need improvement. And the only way to do that was to listen to myself. Eventually I have gotten used to my voice and I don’t cringe when I hear it.

Over the last week or so, I have begun the process of the next phase in putting myself out there. I have written the concept and script for my very first video presentation.

Today I began doing some testing on the logistics of recording myself and I have to admit it was uncomfortable to the point that I just had to quit. Watching myself on the playback, even that paltry 30 seconds I was recording in different ways, brought up the deepest fears I have about myself.

In my coach training I was introduced to the concept of a gremlin. Recently, I heard Dr. Brene Brown use the same term. In each case, the term gremlin refers to the deepest, darkest voice we all have whose entire purpose is to keep us small.

Growing up gay in a small midwestern town in the 70s and 80s, I always knew I was different and I knew that it wasn’t the good kind of different. I became hypersensitive about how people perceived me. I was no different that any other kid in the sense that I just wanted to fit in. So I essentially did what I did while giving my class presentation; I went into my own little mental shell. I didn’t really accept myself for who I was; I simply went into a state of denial.

My friend, and founder of the radio network, Russ Terry, recently quoted me in one of his videos. He used something that I heard over 20 years ago, something that profoundly changed my life. The quote was, “Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business.”

In many ways I have taken that concept to heart and it has allowed me to become far more comfortable in my own skin than I really ever imagined possible for myself. But seeing myself on video today, seeing the mannerisms that I had worked so hard to deny existed, stare me back in the face was truly gut wrenching.

That little gremlin, the one that tells me that I am different in a way that people won’t accept, the one that tells me I will always be judged negatively and the one that tells me that I am inherently unlikeable, screamed loud and clear today. It reminded me that it is almost never other people who get in the way of my success; it is usually me.

So what do you do when you realize your own worst enemy is you? You have courage. You face the fears and do it anyway.

For me, I will get back to testing the best ways for me to create this video that is the first in a planned series of five. I will do what I need to do overcome my self-doubt and my self-criticism. I will surround myself with energy and people who will encourage me and help me succeed. I will simply just keep at it.

For the thing is, although I am often my own worst enemy, I am also my greatest hope. I just have to decide which aspect of myself I wish to tap into.

 

Tim Billiter

Tim Billiter

Tim Billiter, owner of DIY for Your Soul (www.diyforyoursoul.com), is a Certified Life/Life Purpose Coach on a mission is to assist people in creating the life of their dreams by helping them understand that they must first build a strong foundation on which to construct that life. His role as a coach is helping his clients develop new thought processes and skills to create the life they desire, but more importantly, to show them that much of what they think they lack is, and always was, right inside of them.