Affirmation Of The Day: “Treatment is happening on all levels, and my future is benefiting now!”

I found this affirmation and thought it was appropriate to share what came up for me around it. For most of my young adult life I thought I wasn’t good enough. Then I started to dig deep to find the answers why because I didn’t want to live in that space anymore. With the help of others and life experiences, I relearned that I was in fact good enough and my confidence started to build, even though I had always excelled at everything I did. However, now things were different, I felt I had a purpose in my life. I continued to work to bring my inner child to the surface and then another life event happened. My mother, my best friend, was diagnosed with late stage ovarian cancer. I did all I could to support her, going to doctors’ appointments with her, doing research on clinical trials at medical libraries in Manhattan in an effort to save her life when the statistics read differently for her disease. I was the buffer between her doctors receiving news that I didn’t want to fall on her ears. It just wasn’t necessary. I wanted her to live the time she had left in the moment and with dignity. At the end my sister and I decided to take her home to hospice to live her last days in the comfort of her home and after 2 days the way she passed will be forever etched in our minds. It was painful, yet beautiful at the same time.

So this is where I started to fully step into my passion. I started fundraising for women’s cancers and became quite successful at it. For me the greatest gift was touching others’ lives and creating connections that might not have been made if I hadn’t had the life experience that put me in this arena. I did this for years and then one day I thought I would stop since I figured I had done all I could in raising dollars for research and support of women’s cancers.

Shortly after, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and I knew I couldn’t stop. A year later my own breast cancer diagnosis came all of the experiences that I had gone through with my mom, sister and myself lead me to becoming a life coach with a niche in working with women facing a cancer diagnosis and undergoing treatment.

Throughout my training and even in building my business I felt the old voices of “I’m not good enough” coming back and at times I wanted to give all of it up and throw the baby out with the bathwater. I internalized things and thought to myself: “I’m not good enough because if I managed my cancer journey so well, how could I think of serving others when I had not experienced some of the parts of their journey they had?” I was comparing myself to others and this was a huge mistake. I knew in my heart because of all I had been through I could inspire others. That had been my passion since I was a child.

It was at that time, and because of the benefit of my life experiences, coach training and the supportive individuals in my circle that I looked back at all of the events of my life and how I had inspired others with my strength. And that is where I came to the place where I fully realized that my life purpose was inspiring others as a survivorship coach and empowering women to get through fearful and overwhelming events of their lives and to educate and give them the tools to get rid of all of the “I’m not good enough” that resides in them so that they could rebuild their lives and create new beginnings during treatment and after cancer.

Clearly this has been a process for me over many years and I think I was finally able get to the place where I realized my purpose of inspiring others via the help of a friend and fellow coach. Knowing her and seeing all of the challenges she has gone through, far more than mine, and seeing her take one each punch, each step at a time with the will and determination and unstoppable attitude and knowing I could be by her side to love, inspire her and make her smile even brighter helped me seal the deal.

The win, win of this later experience has been that even in the face of her own adversity, she has managed to love, inspire and make me smile. We have been mirrors for each other and inspiring each other in ways we never imagined. We are 2 amazing coaches with the ability to inspire others in their journey like no others!


Gina Costa, CPC, ELI-MP is the founder of New Beginnings Coaching Services, LLC, which helps women diagnosed with breast cancer cope, step by step, with the emotional and physical challenges they experience, so they gain confidence and feel in control of their life again. To learn more about Gina and her coaching practice, visit http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com/

Source: http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com/affir...

Fear Around Cancer Recurrence

I was at a conference this weekend, among a group of women who had metastatic breast cancer. The courage and the fear that these women had was amazing! They all came to the discussion wanting answers to individual questions and the group provided a safe place for them to share all of their fears and accomplishments. It was amazing how at the beginning of the discussion the energy was kind of wary in the room, but by the end of the discussion there was a sense of unity among the group!

One woman expressed how she had beat the disease for many years without recurrence, but now because of that length of time that had gone by, she had a feeling that “the other shoe might drop” and that maybe it was time for her disease to recur. She also expressed that if and when she passed from her disease she was concerned about all of the grief and pain her children would have to endure.

Fear of recurrence is a very real, valid and normal feeling for survivors of any cancer and it is always there lurking in the back of one’s mind. As a survivorship coach it was amazing what the group, myself included, tried to share with this woman and that was to shift her perspective to not seeing the length of her “well-being” as a fear, but more of an accomplishment of all of the achievements since her diagnosis and perhaps the longer “out” since diagnosis and treatment she was, how much better life could be. We also shared a change of perception of why not enjoying her children and have her children enjoy her in the here and now in lieu of thinking about the future, which often causes fear and anxiety.

For myself, I will admit, fear of recurrence is always there for me, but I don’t live my life daily in that state or rather I reframe my thoughts so see and live a better picture. I have learned that there are triggers for me that prompt my fear of recurrence. Since I have had so many losses in my life, e.g., divorce, loss of my mom and days later giving birth to my daughter, and via the diagnosis of breast cancer and losing the “old me” that when things start going well for me and in a very energetic direction, that is when my fear of recurrence comes in. Somewhat like this woman, when things are going my way, thoughts like: “Omg, things are going so well, this is too good to be true, my cancer must be coming back!!!” come up for me. This can be a very real and frightening experience and it can bring you back to the day of diagnosis. When these draining thoughts come up for me I catch myself and tell myself that the messages that I am hearing are my “trigger points” and that they are coming from an old voice inside of my head that is no longer serving me. Once I get to this place I am able to shift and refocus my thoughts to the here and now.

If you think about it, the here and now is all any of us really have so why not inhale and embrace every moment of it. Just remember a few things: you are not alone and all of the thoughts, feelings that are coming up for you are perfectly valid and normal for where you are. The thing is, you have a choice to change your thoughts and that can change your life!

If you are need some support in your journey in this regard, reach out to me or another professional. You can live a life of peace and happiness with cancer.  Cancer does not define you, you define you and changing your thoughts can create sustainable change for you! 

Coaching provides a safe, confidential environment for you to share your experiences, while collecting tools to shift your perspective from draining thoughts to healing thoughts.  You can email me at gina@newbeginningswithgina.com, visit my fb page: facebook.com/ginacostacoach, visit my website: gina@ewbeginningswithgina.com or just give me a call 917-882-2402. 


Gina Costa, CPC, ELI-MP is the founder of New Beginnings Coaching Services, LLC, which helps women diagnosed with breast cancer cope, step by step, with the emotional and physical challenges they experience, so they gain confidence and feel in control of their life again. To learn more about Gina and her coaching practice, visit http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com/

Source: http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com/