Love Doesn’t Have To Be Scandalous!

Let Me Set The Scene: 

“You’ve just spent the perfect evening with your “man”. He compliments your outfit and then proceeds to enquire about your day, and lovingly holds your hand while dining in a quiet, dimmed-lit cafe; then out of the blue, he presents you with an early birthday gift. Your evening is complete back at your place as you snuggle under the sheets to “get your groove on”. With a parting kiss to your forehead, he makes a quick exit before he can reply to your question about birthday plans. 

Before you know it, the day has arrived and everything is ready. Your favorite CD croons in the background as apple cider wafts through the apartment. His work schedule is relentless so you send a quick “Thinking about you” text, and then cry off from your girlfriends’ happy hour meet up without too much explanation. As the hours go by, you finally decide to call him only to hear the laughter of children in the background and a woman’s voice asking about gift advice for his mother! Surprise surprise, he hangs up and you go straight to voicemail when you anxiously call back.”

The Sad Truth

Face it, whether he’s in a committed relationship, engaged or married, he will never be yours for keeps. You are merely a distraction that not even the sexiest Victoria’s Secret ensemble can fix.

Today we have shows like Scandal (Olivia Pope), Mistresses (Dr Karen Kim) and Being Mary Jane (Mary Jane Paul) where the leading ladies become entangled in equally complicated relationships and spend their time alone during holidays and special occasions. I’m sure we all secretly or publicly know women in the exact same scenario who seem powerless to walk away.

How To Break The Cycle

Here are the top 5 challenges for women who inherently attract difficult rather than real love:

1.      Façade of confidence – appearing to be in control

2.      Addicted to discreet, short-term no obligations lifestyle

3.      Feelings of powerlessness or afraid of ending up alone

4.      Lack of a relationship exit plan and difficulty in motivating themselves to establish one

5.      Self-sabotage before, during, or after the relationship

We are each a product of our own belief system and life experiences, and naturally tend to imitate our female family members.  For many of us however, we ultimately learn about relationships from unhealthy environments or entertainment sources. Although a valuable lesson, this education often leaves many questions unanswered as we begin to meander our way through the journey that brings us closer to love.  Simply put, we are ill-prepared and blind to the spiritual, mental and emotional energy required to build and sustain a healthy relationship.

Self-Evaluation For A Better Way

You deserve to be in a better place and moving forwards. Consider this:

1.      What purpose does a complex relationship serve in your life? 

2.      Who was your role model for relationships and marriage?

3.      What does love, sex and relationship mean to you?

4.      Energy attracts like energy. What type of relationship experiences would you like to attract into your life?

You can bet that when his family events are over, he will attempt to rekindle the flame. If and when that happens, be honest and ask yourself what’s more important – having love by any means necessary, or embracing your love under a public spotlight? Just remember there is more to life than being the object of someone else’s pleasure.

Making It Happen

Don’t wait until something bad happens or get caught before you take action to make a change. People who want to lose weight do so because it will contribute to a better quality of life. It is up to you to make changes in how you view your own self-image and how to navigate to the real relationship you desire.

For women who are ready to achieve their relationship goals but may not know how to create actionable steps to achieve them or have relationship questions, you can contact Debrah at AskDebrah@Just4MyGirls.com.


Debrah Mathis, PC, ELI-MP is a highly sough-after Life, Career and Relationship coach who works with you to develop a personally effective style of leadership that positively influences and changes not only yourself, but also those with whom you work and interact, as well as your family and relationships as a whole. Visit: www.EngagetoSuccess.com

Source: www.EngagetoSuccess.com

5 Tips For Menopause

Menopause at 47, 51 or 60 is no reason to accept someone else’s idea of what your limitations are.  We can all be destined to have vibrant health before, during and after menopause and banish years of discomfort and hormone imbalances.  In fact now is the time to discover the best in yourself, including your power to finally deal with some core issues that can lead  to weight gain, depression, brain fog, hot flashes and insomnia. 

1-Listen to a thyroid that has been overloaded with toxins for years. Thyroid issues may be highly aggravated by the onset of menopause.  In fact Menopause &  Thyroid Symptoms may look alike. These are, Exhaustion, Brain Fog, Depression, Lethargy, Changes in Energy, Hair Loss, Changes in Skin Color and Hair Texture, Change in Libido, Insomnia, and Anxiety. 

2- The Digestive, adrenal, inflammation connection.  Leaky Gut could be implicated as a primary contributor to  food allergies, migraines and RA.  There may be toxins in our system which may add to a broader pattern of inflammation which often shows up during Menopause.  Many women have been sensitive to certain foods for decades but only realize it after they lose estrogen’s soothing effect on the digestive tract.   

“Most allergies involve an inflammatory process.  As the adrenal function decreases, allergies worsen.  As the adrenal glands heal, allergies are markedly reduced.” http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=488.15 

3- Sugar is an endocrine disruptor and robs the body of nutrients, testosterone, B 12 and Calcium.  Sugar can increase insomnia, mood swings and body fat, cause inflammation and high cholesterol levels in the body.  Hypoglycemia increases menopausal symptoms and mood swings.  Sugar also reduces the amount of oxygen in the blood and thus increasing the impact that toxins can create in the body.   The body will find a way to get rid of toxins and this typically results in the body saying “Too many toxins…must sweat these out through the largest organ, “The Skin.” (hot flashes) 

4- Commonalities to Menopause are Cravings, Inflammation, Emotions and Hormonal Imbalances.  Did you know many symptoms of Candida overgrowth such as weight gain,  muscle fatigue and early menopause can be caused by hormonal imbalances?  Candida can also be a causative factor to cravings.  In Menopause, the links between hormonal balance, toxicity, inflammation and body fat aren’t the only factors that block weight loss. Unresolved emotional issues can often be the root cause of unhealthy eating habits.

Hormones are tremendously powerful in coordinating the actions of our organs and glands and affecting our quality of life!  Low estrogen levels can cause depression, headaches, migraines, and blood sugar irregularities.  Migraines explained.  http://eepurl.com/ZH-cz 

Progesterone is derived from cholesterol.  Cholesterol levels can change with menopause.  http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10916282  “Without inflammation being present in the body, there is no way that cholesterol would accumulate in the wall of the blood vessel which can be dangerous.  Without inflammation, cholesterol would move freely throughout the body as nature intended.  It is inflammation that causes cholesterol to become trapped.” (Dr. Dwight Lundell)

5- A clogged lymph system can cause headaches.  When our lymph is clogged our body looks for alternative ways to get rid of the trash.  Plan B is making mucous out of it.  Lots of mucous in the morning can be a symptom of a problem.  By gently promoting the movement of lymph with dry brushing, the body detoxifies and decongests. http://www.wisegeekhealth.com/what-is-the-function-of-the-lymphatic-system.htm

With stress, inflammation and hormone changes sometimes we forget to take a moment to breathe.

Here are some tips: 

A- Deep breathing is one of the best ways to move lymph fluid through your body.  Our lymph system is a pressure system that runs best on physical activity and movement.  Our lymph can become blocked when we are feeling stuck or unable to express ourself.” http://www.womentowomen.com/detoxification/the-lymph-system-and-your-health-2/ 

B- Stress can negatively affect the adrenal glands and increase inflammation.  Begin an exercise program.  Exercise improves mood, prevents dementia and balances hormones.

 C- Remember to Hydrate Your Body, and avoid mucus forming foods such as sugar, gluten, rBGH dairy and processed foods..

Follow thru with lifestyle changes and get the support you need, feel better and see results.

To optimize Your Health Go To:  http://lp.bitesizepieces.netTuneupandTuneintoyourHormones.html

Copyright2014@ConnieRogers


Connie Rogers is an Expert in toxins that can disrupt our skin, metabolic and endocrine health. Lifestyle Educator, Reiki Master, 37 years Certified Cosmetologist/Esthetician, Certified Integrated Holistic Health Coach, Accredited through American Association of Drugless Practitioners, Published Author, Wellness Writer, Owner Reverseage Wellness Essential Oils

Connect Linkedin: Connie Rogers

https://www.facebook.com/ReverseageWellnessSpa

www.bitesizepieces.net

Source: www.bitesizepieces.net

Owning The Cape

"Even when I'm a mess, I put on a vest with an S on my chest..." Alicia Keys

This line is from Alicia Keys's song "Superwoman". It's one of the many anthems to womanhood that have been penned over the years. Today I'm writing about my own battle with this label. I am a self-confessed "A type". I do a lot and have a lot of roles. As a working mother of two, and now also working on my coaching business, my life is very full. Some days it’s a bit TOO FULL lol. But I enjoy it. I know that I'm in the right space in time for me right now, so even though my pace is a bit manic at times, it's extremely fulfilling.

I have not always been at peace with this. I've had the title "superwoman" for most of my adult life. But I didn't OWN it. As a matter of fact, you could even say I resented it. I once journaled, "Superwoman is dead. She was crushed by the weight of the world on her shoulders." Wow, right? That's a very strong statement, but that was the space I was in at the time. Totally a victim - "poor me, I've got too much to do". But it is very real when you are in that space - in overwhelm and not able to find a good way to balance it out.

Now, before I go any further, I am NOT claiming to have figured this all out and have the magic formula. But over the years, and with God's grace and the help of some wonderful teachers, I have begun to challenge my perception of things. The truth of the matter is, I LIKE to be busy. And part of my busyness is because of the various relationships I have - family and friends, and taking time to focus on things that matter to me. So now I embrace the fullness of my life - it gives me focus and adds richness to my life. Recently I've been struggling to balance things out, so I thought writing this would help refocus an reenergize. Hope you enjoy it, too.

OWNING THE CAPE
... so how do you shift into wearing the cape proudly? Here are a few suggestions:
 

  1. Feed your spiritual life. Having a relationship with God helps us tap into a higher power and not feel so helpless when things are out of our control. We all experience bumps along the way, (sometimes valleys and derailments!) but knowing that God is with you throughout makes a huge difference. One of my favorite scriptures is Romans 8:28: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."(KJV). This verse has gotten me through many rough spots, and in retrospect, I find it to be true! Some of my greatest blessings have come after a period of loss or trial. God knows what he is doing, and part of the trick in owning the cape is knowing when to let go and let Him have control.
  2. Acceptance. If you are a superwoman (or superman) wear the cape proudly! Clearly there is something about you that resonates strength, leadership and/or perseverance. All wonderful traits to embrace!
  3. Cultivate a positive attitude. Do you routinely see the glass as "half full" or "half empty"? We've all heard "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade", and similar adages. How you view things makes a huge difference. So rather than seeing your talents as a burden (like I used to), wear that cape proudly. Cultivate a swagger and own the power that God has endowed you with!
  4. Take care of yourself. I'm sure this seems very basic, but when we are juggling a lot, sometimes we slip to the bottom (or off) of the priority list. This can lead to burnout, resentment and worse. Yes, it's easier said than done, but it is absolutely essential. When I wrote that "superwoman is dead" bit I was not even on the radar screen. Always allow some time for yourself - to enjoy things you like to do, spending time with people you love, or just DOING NOTHING. 

Have a wonderful week, and *raising cup of coffee*... here's to the journey!

Peace & Blessings,
TRamsey © 9/2010


Trina Ramsey is a career and life coach, specializing in personal transformation and career transition. With 20 years of experience in business and management, Trina is a "people person" and a change agent. Trina started her business, Perspectives Plus Coaching in 2009 after spending 15 years as a nonprofit fundraiser and experience running her own interior decorating business. For more on Trina visit trinaramsey.com. @PerspectivePlus  or https://www.facebook.com/CareerTalkWithCoachTrina

Hair Loss In Women Doesn't Always Have To Be Permanent

Over the years women, have confided in me about those special times they would donate their locks for cancer patients, and then years later they themselves were feeling less then comfortable about their own thinning hair.  Is there a certain age where everything droops, puckers or falls out, they ask?   

Hair loss is a conversation that not too many of us talk about, unless you’re in the hair business or whisper concerns to your best friend.

I hear women say with a panic tone:  “In two months it will be the beginning of summer vacation and OMG…  my hair is falling out.  Why is this happening to me…?  ” 

Well the reason “Why” is a good question. 

Many well known factors include smoking, radiation, chemotherapy and aging.  But what if you don’t fit into any of those categories? 

If you knew some habits could contribute to hair loss would you make some changes?  

Hair loss Reasons and Tips to follow

  • Low levels of Vitamin B, and Thyroid disruption.  Do you live on sugar or are you addicted to wheat/gluten? These can rob you of Vitamin B’s. (7)
  • Hormones can play a significant role in the health and quality of the hair. For ladies, quick hair loss could result from a lack of many nutrients.  Low iron levels are known to be a causative factor for hair loss. (1)
  • A trauma that triggered an unhealthy and sudden weight loss can cause hair loss.  This can also be an eating disorder.  (6)
  • What  OTC’s and other medications do you take daily?   Do you have Depression? (2)
  • Abundance of unnecessary supplements.  Do you supplement instead of eating real whole foods?  Overdoing vitamin A-containing supplements or medications can trigger hair loss, according to the American Academy of Dermatology.
  • Stress-Do you live on a diet of stress?  Chronic stress must be addressed and the adrenal gland must be fed to maintain the health of the body, including the health of the hair and scalp. (3)
  • Do you dye your hair or use toxic hair products?    Over the years these can cause endocrine disruption, thinning and hair loss.  It helps to read labels.  If you can’t pronounce it don’t use it.
  • Sugar- Thinning can be related to the changes in the hormone testosterone.  Sugar and alcohol can deplete testosterone levels. An abundance of sugar and processed foods will also lead to a lack of minerals. 
  • Insomnia-What keeps you awake? Sleep is another “must haves” to help fight hair loss.  A sleep deprived body produces more stress hormones and hair loss.
  • Leaky gut-Poor digestion and utilization of protein can cause hair loss.
  • Oxidative Stress and free radical damage.  Avoid hours in the sun with an “unprotected scalp”. (8)
  • Candida can be linked to dermatitis or atopic dermatitis which can sometimes cause hair loss. (4) 

Healthy hair is a sign of overall good health, so it would make sense that we would want to keep it. Healthy hair thrives on real whole foods/real nutrient rich foods.

So How can we feed our hair? 

Some choices are Spinach, bananas, Brazil nuts for selenium and oysters for zinc. 

To achieve a more balanced healthy lifestyle and improve the health of your hair and scalp, ditch the chips, sugar and processed crap and shop on the outer aisles of the grocery store, or your favorite farmers market, where you'll find fresh organic fruits & veggies. 

With sense of peacefulness and calm, a scalp massage can increase blood flow and lymphatic drainage in the head, both of which purportedly stimulate hair follicles in the scalp and keep it healthy.(5) 

Tips:

*Remember to remove toxic chemical laden shampoos and conditioners that can cause hair loss and replace with organic products.

*Ditch the refined sugar, sweets, wheat and processed foods.

*Develop good sleeping habits. Make an intention to get to bed at the same time every night.

*Address Candida and Leaky Gut issues.

* Add Exercise to your day- this helps to release stress.

*Eat more fruits, and green vegetables for depression and healthy hair.

Footnotes:

1- Shrivastava, SB.  (2009).  Diffuse hair loss in an adult female: approach to the diagnosis and management.  Indian J Dermatol Venereol Leprol, 75(1):20-7

2- (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0003730/)

3- Hair loss has been improved by hypnosis, with one of the biggest effects being help with underlying stress and anxiety [Source: Willemsen] see also Stress (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15304082)

4- (http://candidaquestions.probacto.com/3330/is-candida-connected-to-eczema-or-atopic-dermatitis)

5- [source: Osborn].  http://www.massagetherapy.com/articles/index.php/article_id/885/Indian-Head-Massage

6- Crash diets, major surgery and hair loss (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0003730/)

7- Gluten and Hair loss-To date, there have been 100′s of symptoms, syndromes, and diseases linked to gluten exposure for those with gluten sensitivity.  One of these little known diseases is alopecia areata (autoimmune hair loss). Source: Minerva Gastroenterol Dietol. 1999 Dec;45(4):283-5.

Gluten Can Cause Nutritional Hair Loss as Well…Aside from causing autoimmune hair loss, gluten can cause malnutrition leading to nutritional forms of alopecia.  One of the primary side effects of gluten is damage to the intestinal lining.  This damage can lead to malabsorption of vitamins and minerals

8- Extrinsic factors include smoking, ultraviolet radiation and nutrition and Oxidative stress (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2929555/) see also http://link.springer.com/article/10.1134%2FS2079057013010086

_________________________________________________

Connie Rogers is an Expert in toxins that can disrupt our skin, metabolic and endocrine health. Lifestyle Educator, Reiki Master, 37 years Certified Cosmetologist/Esthetician, Certified Integrated Holistic Health Coach, Accredited through American Association of Drugless Practitioners, Published Author, Wellness Writer, Owner Reverseage Wellness Essential Oils

Connect Linkedin: Connie Rogers

https://www.facebook.com/ReverseageWellnessSpa

www.bitesizepieces.net