Where Is The Love?

These words are from the song, "Where is the Love", by the Black Eyed Peas. Very fitting indeed... 

A lot is going on in our world right now. We are becoming more and more divided, and less and less tolerant of one another. And people are dying at the hands of those who should be protecting them. Nations are turning against nations, and friends and family members are at odds about the “right way” to handle things. And social media and traditional media is whipping us up into a frenzy.  It’s nuts.  And it doesn’t have to be. 

I am one of those people that can sometimes annoy others with my optimism. I find a way to look on the bright side or lend an encouraging word. But to be honest, I am struggling right now.  And while I’m trying to stay informed, I am avoiding those talking head shows like the plague – because the producers inevitably pit people with vastly opposing views against one another and they slug it out with words – analyzing and replaying what has happened when the truth is – we have to move FORWARD from here.  

Today I’m going to contrast two emotions:  Fear vs. Love.

FEAR

Fear breeds mistrust and distances people. I see you as my enemy instead of my potential ally.  I am in a “fight or flight” posture, and when things get heated, I will fight (or shoot) first and ask questions later.  Every man (or woman) for him/herself.  This is a lonely, disempowered and diminished existence. 

LOVE

Love promotes openness and understanding.  I see you first and foremost as another human being.  I trust you first, and assume the best. And when we disagree, I work with you to find a place of mutual understanding so that we can move forward.  This is a much more empowered stance, and tends to help people to move forward and seek unity.

Here’s the thing:  We will NEED TO WORK TOGETHER to get to the other side of this. And we will need to learn how to see the commonalities in one another instead of the difference.  As Steven Covey states, “seek first to understand, then to be understood”.  United we stand, divided we fall… all that good stuff.  The problems of our nation and our world are so huge that it can be difficult to imagine workable solutions. But look to South Africa where apartheid was the norm until a different way was imagined, and until the collective will of the people set things in motion to create lasting change in that country.  Look to Germany, where world leaders got to the point of tearing down a wall that divided the country for many years. Real change can happen, but we must be open to it. We must first put our fears aside and open ourselves up to love.

10 DAY KINDNESS CHALLENGE

It’s the holiday season, where people find ways to be more generous, loving and caring.  I am issuing this challenge to you, and invite you to pay it forward.  While you are going about your day to day life, take the 10 Day Kindness Challenge.  Each day, do something nice for another person. It can be a stretch… like buying something significant for a family in need, or providing a homeless person with a meal (instead of spare change), or a recent trend to give a 100% tip (how cool is that). Or it can be simple. Pay a compliment. Smile. Initiate conversation with a co-worker that you were at odds with. Forgive a family member who wronged you.  And once you take on the challenge – pay it forward. Invite 2 or 3 people to do the same.  If you want to share on social media feel free. Or do it in a smaller, more anonymous way. But let’s do something good. 

SPREAD THE LOVE AND WATCH IT GROW….

In love and peace, 

Trina


Trina Ramsey is a career and life coach, specializing in personal transformation and career transition. With 20 years of experience in business and management, Trina is a "people person" and a change agent. Trina started her business, Perspectives Plus Coaching in 2009 after spending 15 years as a nonprofit fundraiser and experience running her own interior decorating business. For more on Trina visit trinaramsey.com. @PerspectivePlus  or https://www.facebook.com/CareerTalkWithCoachTrina

Source: http://www.trinaramsey.com/

The Little Things

A simple song that moves you to tears.  A walk in the park that reminds you of nature’s beauty.  A gentle hug that lets you know someone cares. The smell of freshly cooked food that brings anticipation of a good meal. The first compliment you get that causes you to blush.  The kiss that takes your breath away. 

All of these simple things are beautiful, heartfelt, and treasured at the exact moment you experience them.  However, once the moment is gone, one might consider these same moments as small, little, and un-noteworthy.  We forget that life is made up of a multitude of happy, sad, painful, and beautiful moments thoughtfully woven together.  Moments that often times are overlooked as insignificant because in the pursuit of our happiness, we only look forward to grand moments, planned special occasions, and the big events that will bring us hours of pleasure or happiness.

Sadly, when something injures us, those are the moments that are remembered and held onto tightly.  We allow a scar to form and often remind ourselves of it, not allowing it to properly heal.  Don’t hold so tightly onto the moments that bring sadness or cause pain. Allow those moments to bring you understanding of yourself and others.  Allow those moments to aid you in your growth.  Then allow those moments to pass, only to be reflected upon to thoughtfully remember the lesson gained.

Throughout your life, don’t trip yourself up with thinking in either terms of “grand” or “insignificant”, the simplest gesture from you toward someone, can hold deep meaning to them.  It can make their day!  It can inspire!  It can bring about positive change!

Remember, all things in life are fleeting.  Don’t take the little things for granted, because they disappear in a heartbeat.  They can melt away like the winter snow giving way to the birth of spring.  Cherish all things in your life that hold meaning to you, even if it's just a moment.  Express gratitude for all things in your life, for all things that come to you, for all things you are given.

Are the little things really the little things?

Peace and Love to the Universe!!!


Monica Ortiz is a successful Life Coach, Author, and Speaker whose award-winning work has touched thousands of lives over her 20-year career. Her debut book in 2013 received over 100 five-star reviews and critical acclaim, and has led to speaking invitations at leading institutions such as Stanford University on topics ranging from Success in Your Career and Relationships to Shifting Your Energy to Shape Your Reality. She is founder of The Universe Series, a professional organization bringing the tools she teaches to millions of people around the globe. To learn more, visit www.theuniverseseries.com

Source: www.theuniverseseries.com

The Truth About Life Coaching: Skepticism & Optimism

I never questioned the validity of a Life Coach before I was called to become one. I knew what they did and had to offer but never thought in a million years that after I made it a priority to find my purpose that this would come knocking at my door. So when I get “perceived” negative feedback about it, admittedly, “I am shocked!”

The story goes…

“What’s the point of being a Life Coach when there are already counselors and therapists out there?”

My reply was…”I don’t know; ask Michael Jordan if a counselor would have been able to coach him into the stratosphere of his career. Ask Oprah what’s the purpose of partnering with Iyanla Vanzant, Brene Brown or Tony Robbins. Ask Celine Dion how she manages to sing the way she does night after night without consulting with a coach…”

The next statement was, “That’s different. They’re athletes and entertainers.”

My reply, “The only difference is it sounds like you’ve given them permission to be the best, do their best with the aide of many types of coaches and separated yourself from having the same opportunities.”

Followed by, “How the hell is a life coach going to help me though?”

My final reply was “A life coach is your personal champion and cheerleading squad. You all sit down and pick the plays and you get in the game and kick your life into capacity. Everyone is different and when you make a decision to optimize certain areas of your life, you select someone to assist you with that from personal trainers and wellness coaches to marriage counselors and coaches but we all have one thing in common-YOU! We care about you living your best life.”

Last reply was…”Never thought about it that way. Wow…!”


Ben Carter is a Life Transformation Coach and CEO of L.I.V.E, LLC (Leap Into Victory Every day).  He lives by the affirmation, “We can all transform our lives one decision at a time. “ Ben uses his life experience as the foundation of his coaching practice. He has a unique way of combining his secular professional career with his deeply spiritual intuition that makes his coaching sessions and speaking engagements “one of a kind.”

Source: http://brccoaching.wordpress.com/

Fear Around Cancer Recurrence

I was at a conference this weekend, among a group of women who had metastatic breast cancer. The courage and the fear that these women had was amazing! They all came to the discussion wanting answers to individual questions and the group provided a safe place for them to share all of their fears and accomplishments. It was amazing how at the beginning of the discussion the energy was kind of wary in the room, but by the end of the discussion there was a sense of unity among the group!

One woman expressed how she had beat the disease for many years without recurrence, but now because of that length of time that had gone by, she had a feeling that “the other shoe might drop” and that maybe it was time for her disease to recur. She also expressed that if and when she passed from her disease she was concerned about all of the grief and pain her children would have to endure.

Fear of recurrence is a very real, valid and normal feeling for survivors of any cancer and it is always there lurking in the back of one’s mind. As a survivorship coach it was amazing what the group, myself included, tried to share with this woman and that was to shift her perspective to not seeing the length of her “well-being” as a fear, but more of an accomplishment of all of the achievements since her diagnosis and perhaps the longer “out” since diagnosis and treatment she was, how much better life could be. We also shared a change of perception of why not enjoying her children and have her children enjoy her in the here and now in lieu of thinking about the future, which often causes fear and anxiety.

For myself, I will admit, fear of recurrence is always there for me, but I don’t live my life daily in that state or rather I reframe my thoughts so see and live a better picture. I have learned that there are triggers for me that prompt my fear of recurrence. Since I have had so many losses in my life, e.g., divorce, loss of my mom and days later giving birth to my daughter, and via the diagnosis of breast cancer and losing the “old me” that when things start going well for me and in a very energetic direction, that is when my fear of recurrence comes in. Somewhat like this woman, when things are going my way, thoughts like: “Omg, things are going so well, this is too good to be true, my cancer must be coming back!!!” come up for me. This can be a very real and frightening experience and it can bring you back to the day of diagnosis. When these draining thoughts come up for me I catch myself and tell myself that the messages that I am hearing are my “trigger points” and that they are coming from an old voice inside of my head that is no longer serving me. Once I get to this place I am able to shift and refocus my thoughts to the here and now.

If you think about it, the here and now is all any of us really have so why not inhale and embrace every moment of it. Just remember a few things: you are not alone and all of the thoughts, feelings that are coming up for you are perfectly valid and normal for where you are. The thing is, you have a choice to change your thoughts and that can change your life!

If you are need some support in your journey in this regard, reach out to me or another professional. You can live a life of peace and happiness with cancer.  Cancer does not define you, you define you and changing your thoughts can create sustainable change for you! 

Coaching provides a safe, confidential environment for you to share your experiences, while collecting tools to shift your perspective from draining thoughts to healing thoughts.  You can email me at gina@newbeginningswithgina.com, visit my fb page: facebook.com/ginacostacoach, visit my website: gina@ewbeginningswithgina.com or just give me a call 917-882-2402. 


Gina Costa, CPC, ELI-MP is the founder of New Beginnings Coaching Services, LLC, which helps women diagnosed with breast cancer cope, step by step, with the emotional and physical challenges they experience, so they gain confidence and feel in control of their life again. To learn more about Gina and her coaching practice, visit http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com/

Source: http://www.newbeginningswithgina.com/

The Number One Killer Of Dreams

What is the number one killer of dreams?

... Insecurity? 

... Laziness? 

... Lack of drive? 

All of those things can  contribute to us not getting what we want out of life.  But in my opinion, the biggest factor keeping us from pursuing our dreams is a simple 4-letter word....fear.

Fear attacks us from all sides. We’re afraid to fail, afraid to not do “what’s expected of us”, afraid of looking bad, afraid to succeed! We’re afraid of losing money, prestige, standing in the community. Afraid of what “they” will think of us.

So we ignore our inner voice. We stuff down the yearning inside of us. We play it safe. We stay in our lane. And life goes on… and on… and on.

And sometimes, most of the time, things work out ok.  And that’s fine. Except for that nagging voice that always wonders “what if”.  What if I had gone for that promotion, moved to another city or country, found the courage to leave a bad relationship or a job I detest instead of settling for “it’s better than nothing”?

But sometimes the nagging sensation eats at us, and we slowly over time realize that “there’s got to be more to life than this”. Yet we allow our fear to keep us trapped in that smaller, safer place. And we become miserable. And we may in turn make the other people in our lives miserable too.

Here’s the thing.

I’m on a mission y’all.  I want to inspire and support people to push past their fear and say “yes” to themselves. I know what it’s like to say “no” to my inner voice, who quietly prodded me to try something new. And I shut her down… QUICKLY (in 30 seconds flat - to be specific).  

And now I also know what it’s like to say “yes” to myself and pursue my gift.  No I’m not a millionaire, and this is still a “side gig” for me.  But let me tell you… I’m having a BALL!  If you’ve listened to my radio show or been to one of my workshops, I’m sure it’s pretty evident.  And THIS feeling is what I feel called to help others achieve.  Because at the end of the day, we only get one crack at this thing called life.  And I’m determined to squeeze every drop out of it. 

Take a few minutes to ponder this…

We’ve got a little more than 90 days left in 2014.  What are you going to do with the rest of it?

Try this exercise for me.  Are you game?  OK… Here we go.

Sit comfortably for 5 minutes and ponder these questions. If you want, write about it. Or just think. If now is not a good time, print this out and come back to it. Trust me – it’s worth it. 

1.   What do I want that I haven’t allowed myself to consider – for whatever practical reason (or out of fear)?

2.    What would change if I allowed myself to consider the POSSIBILITY of pursuing this thing?

3.    How do I feel right now even thinking about this?

4.    What ONE thing can I do that is within my power, time and resources, to make a positive impact in my life before 2014 ends?

What came up for you? Did that feel exciting or SCARY? Empowering? If you came up with something positive to do before 2014, I implore you to follow through on it – no matter how big or small.  Because here’s the bottom line.  Life ticks by… moment by moment… day by day... And we look up and it’s 10 years later.  Carpe Diem my friend! Seize this moment.  Who knows where this one decision will take you!

Today I’m not selling anything. I just want to encourage you to think more about what’s possible in your life. And if this message encouraged you or caused even a tiny shift, I’d love to hear about it.  If you know someone who would benefit from this message, please forward it on. 

Pay it forward! 


Trina Ramsey is a career and life coach, specializing in personal transformation and career transition. With 20 years of experience in business and management, Trina is a "people person" and a change agent. Trina started her business, Perspectives Plus Coaching in 2009 after spending 15 years as a nonprofit fundraiser and experience running her own interior decorating business.

For more on Trina visit trinaramsey.com. @PerspectivePlus or https://www.facebook.com/CareerTalkWithCoachTrina

Source: www.trinaramsey.com

Inspiring A Young Boxer

Situation

Rod's client was a 19 year old who had previously been a successful junior champion amateur boxer. However lately he had dropped out of college and been unable to get a job. He had turned himself from competition and local society by going into drinking and minor drug use. If he continued as he was he was heading to become unemployable as well as putting his health in danger.

Objective

Rod's objective was to help him reconnect him with his passion of competitive boxing, create a vision and take action to win senior boxing titles, and in doing so create a direction for his life. 

Actions

Rod's first action was to do what was necessary to build a relationship of mutual respect and trust. When he achieved this he took his client through a series of mental and physical exercises to reconnect to his inner purpose and strength. He then acted as a role model, mentor and guide to help his client restart  training and work on his diet and health.

He then taught his client to be his own coach, so Rod was able to reduce his sessions from weekly, to every two weeks and then once a month.

Results

The results were evident not only to his client but also his friends and family. Within a matter of weeks he was less dependent on alcohol and drugs, increasing self confidence, looking better and coming over better and fitter. He was training five out of seven days and getting himself ready for a series of fights.

And so

Two years later James has become successful boxer – no longer dependent on alcohol and drugs, he has a healthy diet, healthy body, and trains every day. He is now winning his fights at local, regional and international level. His self confidence has increased dramatically. He has secured a part time job at Tesco which allows him the time to train for boxing. 


For more than 30 years, Rod Beau has been an internationally sought-after education and management consultant and keynote speaker. His practical, real-world business experience and career have been in educational leadership, relocation consulting and executive and leadership coaching. As a Senior Consultant and Master Executive Coach, Rod is also an Accredited ANLP Trainer - specializing in Executive and Leadership Coaching. To learn more about Rod Beau, please visit www.sherpanlp.com

Source: www.sherpanlp.com

Don’t Say, “I don’t know”… You’re Better Than That!

The first time I’d heard “What’s the difference between ignorance and stupidity?” and then the answer/punch line “I don’t know and I don’t care” was in a movie many years ago. In the movie everyone listening to the person who delivered the punch line began to laugh in a pompous manner. As if their intellect was superior and therefore couldn’t possibly fall into the category of being either ignorant or stupid. 

When I am in a coaching session with someone, I have a rule that anyone over the age of twelve is not allowed to say “I don’t know” when I ask them a question about why they took a specific action or how they feel about something. I explain that after the age of twelve with all of the growing and learning we have done up to that point, we should all know and or have already formulated our own thought processes of what motivates, drives, frightens, and makes up happy. We should all know the reasons behind the actions we take, the things we pursue, the love we feel, what angers us, why we feel frustration, or why we experience emotional pain.

When someone asks you “Why did you do that?” and you reply “I don’t know” it is not an accurate statement and it is definitely not a statement I allow. I think we all know why we’ve done what we’ve done or why we do what we do. We all know what has caused us to take a certain action. Now not wanting to admit it because of guilt, or shame, or fear of reprisal, is still you knowing why you took an action. You now just have other motivations for not wanting to admit it. 

Saying “I don’t know, I will think about it,” is very intelligent because now you are giving conscious thought to something you don’t know. And now you will think about it in order to come to an intelligent conclusion. It could apply to a piece of artwork, a mathematical equation, the breed of a horse, or simply the capital city of a state/country, etc. You are saying to someone that you don’t know the answer, and that you will look it up and come up with an answer to replace the first comment you made of “I don’t know.” It is about being conscious, being aware, and being smart in your own life. Sometimes to formulate the correct answer, the question you ask yourself after “I don’t know” needs to be deeper in order to come to an intelligent answer. 

At times, this doesn’t necessarily always apply easily to your actions or your feelings. Sometimes, the “I don’t know” rolls off of your tongue easily because you are not sure if what you are feeling is right. You know what you’re feeling and you know why you took an action, but you are unsure of whether the feeling is right or the action you took is right. That has to do with “owning” it. Own what you’ve done. Own the feelings that led up to your action and own the feelings the action created. Let’s own what we do. If we’ve done it, it belongs to us and we need to own it and figure it out. Think about what you do, how you feel, who you are, and why you do what you do. What is it that motivates you? What drives you to an action? Why are certain things driving you to the good/bad action you are taking? You should always know the “Why?” 

“I don’t know” should always be followed with “I will think about it” and then should be followed through with the deep conscious contemplation that will bring you to the answer of what you didn’t know. Be smart in your own life.

Peace and Love to the Universe!


Monica Ortiz is a successful Life Coach, Author, and Speaker whose award-winning work has touched thousands of lives over her 20-year career. Her debut book in 2013 received over 100 five-star reviews and critical acclaim, and has led to speaking invitations at leading institutions such as Stanford University on topics ranging from Success in Your Career and Relationships to Shifting Your Energy to Shape Your Reality. She is founder of The Universe Series, a professional organization bringing the tools she teaches to millions of people around the globe. To learn more, visit www.theuniverseseries.com

Source: www.theuniverseseries.com

International Youth Development

Situation

Rod's client was a 21 year man who lived in Tirana, Albania. He had completed high school three years prior but locked into a low wage, low expectation job. He wanted to change his life and get a career as well as discover what was ‘outside’ Albania.

He felt great pressure from his family to do better. He was frustrated by the apparent impossibility to change his destiny and his frustration with life in his city.

Objectives

Rod's objectives were to empower his client to identify what his passions were. To reconnect him with those passions and help empower him to find avenues that would open the doors for him to start the changes. Ideally, to get him to believe in himself as well as see himself on a firm career tract.

Action

Rod initially identified some of his client’s key strengths, which included good spoken English and the ability to benefit from a university education.

Rod tailored six NLP based coaching sessions specifically to his client’s needs. This included a 'personal breakthrough' session to increase his client’s confidence and a session to help him understand what was really important to him both in work and life generally.

He then coached him to improve his chances of getting accepted at both college and university and how to really benefit from the opportunity this would offer. After his client won a scholarship for a first year at college, he provided a program of Skype and email support.

Result

The impact on his client’s motivation and skills was immediate resulting in winning his scholarship. After completing his first year in college, his client left for Tetovo, Turkey where he had been accepted to a university. He was living on his own at college in a foreign country and thriving on the challenge.

And so?

Eighteen months later his client worked at a major international tourist resort hotel in Turkey for a summer season and earned more in those few months than in the previous 18 months. In addition, he has now been accepted into their management training program. He has discovered himself and has provided for his family as well as himself.


For more than 30 years, Rod Beau has been an internationally sought-after education and management consultant and keynote speaker. His practical, real-world business experience and career have been in educational leadership, relocation consulting and executive and leadership coaching. As a Senior Consultant and Master Executive Coach, Rod is also an Accredited ANLP Trainer - specializing in Executive and Leadership Coaching. To learn more about Rod Beau, please visit www.sherpanlp.com

Source: www.sherpanlp.com